In a nutshell…..

 Hello faithful readers. Long time no talk. I have so much to say but so little to say, if that makes any sense at all. I have never used this blog as a personal platform to be anything but myself but this past month has had me literally choked up.

So for today. I will make some comments, post a lot of pictures and maybe get into some details if it feels right. For many of you its a triathlon catch up blog. So lets start there. I am doing Ironman Wisconsin. I am training. Its been pretty ok, a few things here and there but physically, as related to training, and the basic athletic movements of SWIM BIKE RUN and repeat. Its all been pretty ok.

I raced a Half. IT was likely the toughest half i have ever done, and that had nothing to do with the course, the conditions or my fitness. That i managed to even show up was the hugest victory and that in and of itself got me moving one step at a time, minute to minute, just like any endurance event. You don't think too much about what is ahead, you just stay in the moment. I have pics but basically i swam, didn't have a panic attack in the water, biked pretty good,  it rained, what is new for june, and i ran a so so half on a tough course. I wasn't destroyed the next day or the next week, physically that is.

So one half and that maybe it. Here are some pictures of fun stuff:) I can talk about the not fun stuff in a minute.

BEST EVER, I am sorry chocolate milk but no thanks. TART cherries are where it's at for anti inflammatory properties, READ ALL YOU ATHLETES OVER 40…. 

Secret weapon, LCM

Rode around in here, Rich and I used to ride here. me and the crows. 

Beaver Bay, just off the lake, THE LAKE. SUPERIOR, 

FUN with my nephews on the 4th. 

ACE ( giant dog) has separation anxiety when my brother leaves, Ruby is a bit less needy.

Who doesn't like a lady in the lupine? 

Does this even need a caption??? YOU KNOW HOW I GET WITH SLAMS

The Mairs men

So thankful for my sisters, we are so different in many ways, so alike in others. 

I have the best friends!!! My own personal Cop to ride with. 

 My new phone screen

This isn't about me. I love all that is crazy/messed up/ about me, luckily i didn't have a  twin or the world would be in trouble. 

I was blessed with Rich in my life to help me learn to love my inner monster and that we all deserve love and that until you love yourself nobody else can love you. Or do that work for you. I had a good teacher. 

This is stolen from Angela, but this pretty much still a work in progress.
every single day!

And while this Ironman training, and family time, and the best friends ever near and far support me i am walking thru the last month without a close friend i loved. I am still not sure what happened and i don't think he is either. It happened abruptly and with no personal contact and while i can say I hate how it was handled I don't hate him. That isn't how i live my life and I know whatever pain i am feeling his has to be deeper. I hope he can figure things out as he deserves someone like me in his life, I just think i deserve better:) And I know we all have our inner demons I am just used to working those out with someone not being shut out…., its just been super hard. And while i am resilient and i am an Ironman and i bad ass and i am all this stuff with all this super human powers i am still just a girl who wants to be loved. ( WAIT, WHAT MOVIE IS THAT FROM???!!!!) sorry i had to throw that in there, its too true.

So that is about as much as i will say. And ya that empathy gene of mine needs to be tamed doesn't it:) nope its what  makes me who I am.

More training updates to come i hope and thanks for reading my babble.

AND OF COURSE GO ROGER!!! Stan is next in my line up for winning but, wow i have a huge tennis post to come.