Thursday, October 24, 2013

Lots of Off-Season going on

At the risk of not blogging until there is another life changing event ( haha, i mean race) I decided to check in. Nothing much happening here other than working out for no reason other than to burn off all the apple pies i am making ( thanks Caroline!) and the peach pie which i think was more of a hit than the apple.

So getting my head into fresh air has been the best thing for me. It all the sudden got cold, so the cross bike has gotten some road time even tho i am way slower than ANYONE on that so its often a sufferfest which has me thinking " Why are you doing this? You are supposed to rest!" So i work hard then will drop off for a bit if i get a bit "meh" on the quad lock going on. Running has been my savior. I cant tell you how joyous it feels to run, our leaves are still quite nice and its not THAT cold, yet 28 a few mornings had me wondering if we would have an Indian Summer in November. I am not betting on it.

My house has been really really challenging for me lately. I know I know I know. Plenty of you live in a dwelling alone or perhaps you are the person that does all the home stuff. But for me its not so much that i cant do it its just that its ALOT. Take for example, the entire basement is filled with Rich's things. He came to this house post -divorce and i think he got all the wicker baskets and heck of a lot of glassware ( not waterford) and well my lovely husband loved knick knacks. I am talking 300 Sq Feet of boxes and STUFF, some of which is his kids. I actually have a friend come in once a week to help me GO THRU STUFF. ITs that much stuff. Plus the hard part of getting his clothing donated or consigned.

The thing is i am not in a rush to get rid of his things. Some of the things we shared and i love them and i want them. MANY of the things have no memories to me, and his kids have come thru a few times and taken what they want. They will have a chance to go thru more things when i bring a carload of thigns over there tmmrw:) They arent my memories, I cant discard them. And so as much as i hate dropping them in their laps I feel its the right and best thing for all of us. For now its been alot of throwing and alot of labeling. We took a  few HUGE loads to a church that was having a sale and i know GoodWill is going to have some deposits as well. I cant tell you how much work it is, and honestly I was too emotional before this past month to even deal with it.

Now I feel like i am regaining ( or maybe gaining for the first time?) my house. Rich moved in almost a year before I did. He had come from a big house, and I came from a 850 sq foot condo. My stuff in our basement now? Race wheels, a bike. and about 3 boxes of Dartmouth stuff. Rich was the Christmas Santa, LOVED LOVED LOVED Christmas. I have found more ornaments and decorations and singing elves and decorated doors goes on and on. Ornamental glasses and mugs and pitchers and plates and....I think i should have a big Xmas party and you all can wear your decorated sweaters and we will eat off of decorated plates!

Work is good, but the above has consumed me. IF this werent a public blog i would also write more about my personal life that has also been consuming me. Its just been all too much and I have relied heavily on a few close friends ( SORRY I AM SICK OF MYSELF, you must be sick of me too) to help me make some tough decisions. In the end I know i am where i should be.  I never thought I would be single and 47 yo. No crying in my soup here but it just stings a bit when i waited and worked so hard to find Rich and then POOF, gone. He is physically gone but the way I deserve to be treated and knowing what true love feels like? I have not forgotten.

Thanks for reading, sorry about the little trip down " relationship lane." :)


Betsy said...

I want to come to your Christmas party and eat peach pie!

Anonymous said...

Oh Julia I cannot imagine what a pain it must be to go through all that stuff. No fun. :( Always thinking of you! And you can have some of our warm weather -- I am ready for a different wardrobe -- I am so sick of wearing shorts and tank tops. Yes I sound like a whiny brat, but I do miss a true fall. xo

Ange said...

That does sound like a lot of emotional work! I'm sure you will feel good and 'lighter' as you make your way towards being done with it.
Thinking of you as you also go through relationship things... hugs, A