November

Well I kinda wanted to blog, and I kinda didnt. Like some of you there isnt anything too riveting ( to steal from Jen) going on right now. Up here in MN its the calm ( 50 and sunny) before the storm ( DLS, and colder temps and snow) but for now I am doing my best to stay in the moment, and as i told Rich today " going thru the motions " of training.

November last year is a blur, as is October. When your fiance is diagnosed with cancer and you cancel your wedding, only to decide 10 days before to hold it, there isnt much time to be thinking " wow, i miss summer, i miss the warmth, and I AM COLD." Granted we will celebrate a wonderful year on sunday, and last night as we went to bed ( well I was in bed, Mr. Politics was up glued to the TV) he said "This year has been filled with the most LOVE i have had EVER." That makes me feel warm and happy and good about my life outside Triathlon. And no matter how hard i try to act as if " I am hardcore, I can handle this s$%^" it doesnt get any easier as you get older. The urge to just take up knitting, or more seriously just do yoga or go back to tennis is there.

So. I was diagnosed with a couple tendonopathies yesterday. After 3 weeks of rest ( and actually 2 weeks prior to BOUS) I knew that resting this was not going to help it. I cant say i was surprised. I am really proud of myself for knowing that when things get chronic and you have no symptoms and cannot reproduce your symptoms other than running, that you had better get yourself to someone that knows something about tendonopathy. I dont have the energy to write all about what this is and how i know this, but if you want to know more or want advice ( I have lots of if) comment and i will email you. So...since i had this before in my L leg I didnt think i had it again in the R side. But with all things chronic, they can set in pretty fast and before you know it those buggers are setting up housekeeping and you are screwed. Last time i had proltherapy shots in my common HS tendon and it worked. But it was laborious, hurt, and really i didnt run for about a year or more. ( The shots are just irritants, sugar or saline, sometimes now the use PRP, ( Platelet rich Plasma) but overall the goal is to annoy the tendon) and then it reheals stronger and with better sarcomere lengthening, etc...ooops. sorry.

So for now i am in good hands. I had my first TFM ( Transverse Friction Massage) to each tendon insertion, 8 min to each site, where it basically goes numb. After that I Was able to run, with no symptoms. Then its BID 15 reps, 3 sets of eccentric HS and Glute MED work. I tell ya that is tough. Again the goal is to make those tendon insertions angry. and if my sore posterior today is right it was mission accomplished. But its not the sore from the injury and that is a good thing, its sore bc the insertions are barking at me. Just what we wanted. NO nsaids, we want that inflammation around. I am to keep my normal routine and to try running as able. Jury is out on this. I want to try but i am also reading more protocols ( they are old) that says to wait till i am fully pain free. This is confusing bc i was painfree before this other than running, and I will have some symptoms running its just that we hope to delay those more and more with each treatment. I should also likely clarify, this isnt pain per se. It's a gripping or grabbing at the insertion. It is something you can work thru ( stupid) if you dont catch it.

The guy i am seeing was able to diagnose this with palpation, as i was negative for the traditional HS tendonopathy screens. This is good, as I had self diagnosed myself ( of course i did) as negative but when he got on that tendon it was a quality that was much more taut than the Left, and i felt that right away. So it goes. I am in good hands, and even tho I do know how trying this diagnosis can be, I am confident bc he is confident. I cant take it much further than that or i will go insane. My goal, dare i write it, is to go for a run on Christmas Day without any symptoms. See, Christmas made easy.

And again Liar Liar pants on fire, is that i have not swirled thoughts about next season in my head. That is just how i am. Coach can tell me to relax all she wants, but i cant deny that the feelings, maybe irrational, are there. That i wont train for an IM if i am not 100% healthy. So best to get that out on the plate now. I know i think alot about this stuff ( body, therapy) its bc its what i do for a living so that is hard to let go of. I also think i have a VERY good sense of my body and so friends, family saying "dont worry about it...it will heal" I appreciate that, I do. But it isnt always what I need to hear, sometimes i need to hear " That F'ing stinks. Yea you have a right to be scared and afraid and cautious."

So the Limbo that some of you talk about, I am right there with you. Keep an optimistic view and stay in the moment, and allow yourself to be in limbo and know its ok to be a bit ornery. At least that is what i told my husband bc no celebrex on day 1 of my cycle means he had better not expect a bright and cheery bride:)