Monday, October 17, 2011

Living in Limbo

Thanks for all the nice comments and support. Both of us are overwelmed with the love and friendships we have both here and from afar. The truth is that we have no idea what each day will bring. I mean that. I have heard so many uplifting stories of cancer with a grave prognosis, go into remission for at least a time being. I have also heard of stories where a cancer such as this progressed rapidly within 3-6 mos. So who knows. I just know i dont think it is his time. Maybe this is my form of denial, but as i said earlier i dont thinki have a choice but to be relentlessly optimistic.

I am sorry for me that i cant share more. I know it sounds like i have some Anonymous commenter when in reality its not an Anonymous commenter at all, its just a person who has chosen to use us in her pitiful life. And with that I will say no more.

Rich had his first chemo last week and seems to have gotten thru that with minimal side effects. Yes some nausea and yes some neuropathy and some foggy headedness but all in all he was pretty happy with how it went. It's hard being down there getting the chemo with him. He looks quite healthy compared to some others that are there, and really its hard to now stare and wonder, what the others are there for. To want to ask them.."So, what are you in for? What is your SENTENCE?" And at the same time we tried to have fn with it, I got him the good snacks, we had fun with the fabulous oncology nurses, they truly are the best. One of them remembered my mom from 5 years ago when i would go down there and sit with her for her Chemo after breast cancer.

As for me, I am doing ok. Sleeping better even sans drugs, but at night sometimes things pop up and my MD advised me to "take a nibble" of an Ambien. I love that. I love her orders:) I dont think i have ever taken a full Ambien ( and i have never really taken it before) so if i did i may not wake up for 24 hours.
Training is fine. Meh...whatever. Just getting out to breathe, feel my legs, ride my road bike ( Poor Gretta was washed but she hasnt seen the light of day since IM, she still appears to have sticky sugar on her poor girl), and of course a bit of chlorine that i didnt miss this summer swimming outdoors and in the lake.

WE enjoyed a fabulous Vegan Meal that my friend KJ brought us saturday. Lentil Curry and twice baked potatoes and some rice krsipy treats, all vegan. Of course i messed it up by adding Chicken broth to the soup/curry bc it was SO thick. Oops. Sorry i hope i didnt lose the Vegan Super Powers. ( you wont get that unless you saw that movie about the kid who had super powers and they made him drink a latte and he lost his powers,  cant remember the name, it was pretty weird) I digress....but we are doing pretty well at eating a good clean diet for him, and despite many offers for meals from people the truth is that i love to cook. ITs good therapy for me, and he likes what i cook him. So if i turn down a lasagna, and white garlic bread dont be offended. We love that you want to share with us but flowers will do, or just a plain old hug:)

Till next time.

12 comments:

thepumpkinsdiary said...

i just need to send you an email, but i wanted to comment here first and tell you how amazing i think both you and Rich are!! email coming soon... :)

Pedergraham said...

We are keeping you both in our thoughts. I can tell Molly is thinking of you, because she has had a tennis ball in her mouth, under her chin or tucked under her ear for the past 2 weeks. Keep taking care of both of you. xoxo Danielle

TriGirl Kate O said...

xoxo

Angela and David said...

What? You don't want more of my red velvet cake? I guess I'll just have to eat it.

Let's get together soon so I can give you a hug!

Kim said...

much love to you and rich.

Betsy said...

Glad to hear you've decide to take a positive spin but know it's ok to think that this diagnosis sucks too. Cause it does. Cancer sucks! Thoughts & prayers & lots of clean healthy foods :)

cheryl said...

Laughter is good medicine, as are hugs with Ruby, and of course Rich. I'm thinking of you guys every day. sending big hugs your way.

Damie said...

love you so much and think about you daily. honestly.

ADC said...

Lots of love and hugs coming your way is all I can say. I am thinking of you both.

Eclectchick said...

Hee - from the "nibble" of Ambien orders, I know who that doctor is. How goofy is that? Continuing to send good vibes your way and wishing you the best!

Heidi Austin, PT, DPT said...

i'm sorry to hear about the bad news hun. will for sure keep you and rich in your thoughts and prayers. glad to hear that it is still asymptomatic. hugs!

Soul Rider said...

I haven't commented here or talked to you in quite a while, but you and Rich are on my mind quite often when I'm out for a ride or when I'm writing.
I'm thinking about you and sending you two all the good thoughts and energy I can.