Sunday, March 04, 2012

Weekend Update

And not nearly as fun as you get on SNL, but here goes:
In no particular order or anything, excuse the randomness at times.
-I can tell I am running more bc my toes are getting all beat up again. Toenails are starting to get ready for the summer months i guess.

-Saw Hugo last night, so fun. see it. I loved it. Ate a buffalo burger too, that was good.

-I am not Catholic and while I grew up Presbyterian, I never really did anything for Lent. Other than celebrate Easter:) But Rich is a strong Catholic and when i met him he had given up dessert, alcohol, and a few other things but I was totally confused by all this "Lets deprive ourselves," stuff. So its fun now that he has evolved and maybe i have too, to try to include less deprivation and more "what can i do to give back or share more of me," in honor of God. So less about the giving up and more about the giving back.
I have my theory on the giving up stuff, I think people forget why they are giving things up, its not about you being strong and being better bc of it, its about God, but anyways.
So.. I made a few notes, bc I am more accountable that way and here is how i am doing:

1) Practice Centering Prayer 20 min 1x day ....scorecard says 100%
2) No Wine during the week, just drink more water and Kombucha! ...scorecard 100%
3) Worry less....scorecard...this is hard to grade but i would give myself a subjective B+ or 88%
4) Love more, again hard to grade but that includes loving myself and caring for myself so again B+
5) Sorry but this one is a deprivation. I dont need em i dont think they are that great, but NO Girl Scout cookies! Ugh. 100%

So no i am not perfect and I still eat dessert but not GSC. And you know the less you eat that stuff the more dont want to eat that. Doesnt mean i didnt buy 2 get one free Salted Nut Roll, now you are talking.
And Dark Chocolate? I can do that :) so all is not lost and i am not crazy!

As for the Centering Prayer or Contemplative Prayer its all a part of me trying to take some time for me. I realized with the help of my acupuncurist that i am worrying alot, and i am projecting into the future too much and I let things spiral. I think with Rich its been really hard for me to even realize i am doing this. But little things set me off. And so at the end of the day I try to re-gather all that I have given to everyone else in my life, from my job in a health care setting, to my nurturing skills for my family, to even just not driving like a nutcase aggressive driver. :) haha, kidding. But really I need to get a grip and I am workinghard to not think so much and not worry so much. This pretty much started when i had the hand surgery.

-Hand update:) YAY hand is good . I know you want a picture of a random looking scar, but not today. It still hurts like the dickens if i grab sometthing  or someone grabs my hand. Gripping the bike isnt so fun either but at least its healing and it wont rip apart descending Lemmon. ( ohjoy) but i think its going to hurt for a bit. Lotsa nerves in there.

But i think that, plus Chemo. and Rich and some family stress andand then i just had one thing after the next. REally want to know?
Random high heel wedding led to quad or ??? strain. couldnt walk for a few days.

Ran in the snow and ice =random peroneal or maybe Exernsor Digitorum Longus shinsplints( side of your shin) issue, didnt run for a few days. hurt to walk even.

Left shoulder tension=LATS ARE SO TIGHT I AM GOING TO DIE. Serratus too. Using my lats is good, but heck. and yes when i had that surgery i babied that arm...time to get back to the Scap strength.
When i dont do strength my humeral head ( shoulder bone) sits forward, and it gives me anteior shoulder pain. Answer: my chiro gently puts it back and viola. This is all thanks to instability in my Lft shouder when i fell off my bike way before i knew all of you:) I got my wheel stuck in the light rail tracks. Popped it out like a champ, but then went airborne and fell on my shoulder, ouch.

Took a day off, did my strength, did some weird rotation that made a facet get irriated. Bothersome but still not good. Facet ----wings off your vertebrae that your paraspinals and some of the tiny spinal roators attach too.

So I sure hope I made it thru this rough patch, Nothing kept me down for more than a few days and the rational Julia knows all this stuff is just time, nothing to sweat and it is niggles from stress ( not training stress). I didnt really miss much working out, maybe a day, and that is truly bc I have a coach who i am in touch with daily ( sorry Jen) with stuff like this and she works with me to ( talk me off the ledge) to rearrange and refocus. I am not a pro, i say that but sometimes i think i forget that means its ok to miss a swim. ( dont worry Stine i wont tell Jen you told me i could miss a swim)

 The big picture is months off although i did find myself in the basement riding the IM St. Croix course saturday wiht the heat cranked thinking WHAT HAVE I DONE?? The beast is not the bad part, its the rest of the course that killled me. If you have done Dairyland Dare, well that is what the St Croix Course is like.

Ok i think i have babbled enough for you to know that I am here, I am alive, and if you are having a late FEB that has made you cry, well then joine the team. but the pity party is over and the new outlook is feeling good. Lots of work done this weekend and hopefully a 10 mile race next weekend.

Most importantly Rich is nearly 6 mos thru his treatment/chemo. For those of you who asked or wonder, we dont know how long he is doing chemo. It's been a rough thing to hear, when everyone else is saying they have one more or are almost done. We know for sure its another 6 mos, then after that I think everything depends on CT scans. The fear is if they stop it will come back. Such is metastatic cancer.
He remains totally upbeat and stronger than I am wth this stuff. I m also starting to cut back the time i go down to Chemo with him. It's like race spectating. It's his thing and the spectating can be tough and tiring:) He had hoped to get off the Coumadin but friday he showed me his arm and he has the Incredible Hulk arm back again so i suspect we are headed for another ultrasound next week:(

Keep on praying or doing whatever you do!! Thanks for reading, sorry i cant give you a coffee for all your time!


Steve said...

Boy, I sometimes forget how much stuff you go through Julia. It is o.k. to worry, and it is o.k. to stress about things. You of all people are allowed, because well sheesh right??

Right let's do what we do, we are all headed in a good direction, and it is about facing life head on. You of all people know bad stuff happens at times, and you of all people I can tell are dealing with it in a very healthy way.

Luv ya, and my best to you both. :)

Good luck on the 10 miler too. :)

cheryl said...

;-) just keep being you Julia, you are an amazing person, people are lucky to call you their friend.

melissa caron said...

Hey Girlie I'm sending prayers your way. :)

Angela and David said...

No GSC! Don't come to our house!

I think it's great you are praying everyday and trying not to worry. You've got so much going on that you need to stop everyday and just stop for a little while.

Can't wait to have some wine and sushi!

Damie said...

so much going on!!! thank you so much for the update on Rich. hilarious the way you overthink in your PT way everything going on with your body. (not truly overthinking it, but you know, to the avg. know I LOVE It!!!). xo

elizabeth said...

Glad to hear you're taking time for YOU each day! I know you give so much to others, even if you don't think you are. Sounds like Rich is a real trooper! And YES of course I am sending positive thoughts and warm wishes your way!

EZnJ said...

No friggin' Thin Mints??? That's just cruel!!
Love your posts! Keep em coming!

Betsy said...

Your strong and amazing! I don't think anyone can blame you for worrying but you don't want to miss the present worrying about the future. I'm not particularly religious but it makes sense to have that centering in your life and givig the things you worry about over to a higher power.

I missed a swim yesterday and I am having serious guilt over it still today even though I know it's not the end of the world :)

ADC said...

Great post, love it. And you are right about St Croix - the beast is definitely not the hard part. But we loved the race very much.

Molly said...

Amen for no Girl Scout Cookies. Ick ick ick!

You have a LOT going on but really you are handling it quite gracefully! I'm glad the hand is improving and continue to think good thoughts for Rick!

Jennifer Harrison said...

AH! Great post is right...glad you are taking some time for yourself to decompress, you deserve it..we all do!

And, you are not missing anything w/ the GSC, I used to like them, now they taste like plastic.

See you soon! And Rich too!

The Triathlon Rx said...

Those little girls with their vests and cookies... overrated!! Glad to hear you are keeping your head up and makin' through. :)

I watched the movie Rio on my last IV day... LOVE it!