Hey...

That is about all I have to say. "Hey."

I was riding today and while i was losing interest  staying focused on a long cool down, I realized I have very little positive to say on my blog right now. That isnt to say I am all doom and gloom. But for now I just dont have the energy or desire to write about cancer or comeback from injury. I dont totally agree when people say "blog goes blank = injury" bc I am actually doing quite well. I just dont have the interest or the energy to spend right now and most of you that are my friends email me and you know what is going on. If you arent, dont be offended. I will come back sometime. Maybe sooner than I think.
The hamstring is pretty good. My Glutes ( specifically my glute med) is getting a torturous workout and i am running. Not fast. Not alot. I am still 3 weeks out, usually its 6 weeks before the leash is off. I am riding normally and swimming well. That is about all I have to say, other than as you know, a return from injury means other stuff barks too. Rich is ok. Not great. Not awful. He starts a new round of chemo tmmrw and honestly we hope he feels as good as he has with the last drugs. He sure felt worse this last month than ever, which in and of itself is worrisome.

I decided my life and my love of being active ( and kicking tail) cant be dictated by an M dot race. So come Wisconsin I may not have my full physical fitness but the mental fitness starts now. Bring it on race day, its what is going on upstairs as much as what is going on in the hamstrings.

That's it from the OK Coral.

Things I Know Today

It's Father's Day which is weird for me and Rich. He is a great father. But he is not the father of my children nor is he my father. My dad is out of town and since his birthday is always the weekend before father's day he has always said "dont give your money to Hallmark." Love it.

Despite not running or riding with any intensity I havent gained any weight. Hate me if you want.

Just to follow that last " Thing I know" I have been eating. And I dont find anything wrong with good grains and bread. Or maybe some Blue Bunny Carrot Cake ice milk, if you must know. I sorta hoped it would be like the Birthday Cake ice cream that sounds so good, but is repulsive but the CC ice milk is actually really good.

I am sorry Cheryl, I havent been to DQ.

When i got a stomach virus last weekend the last thing i had eaten was a VEGA Shake and Go Smoothie. That stuff is too spendy to throw out but the thought of it makes me want to hurl. I will give it another week or two.

My sister's cat YETI is albino and deaf. He is adoreable and has all sorts of Stevie Wonder head bobs, but he always makes my hands and wrists itch and my eyes water. Allergic? i think so.

I ran for a very short time today. I was fine. I feel like i could have run more, so that means i stopped when i should have. My IM is a ways off. I have time and i know i will be ready. AT the same time I am thinking about 2013, and that makes me excited.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY miss Time Trialing. I hope i can do that soon.

My bike shoes STINK like ...I cant even tell you what they stink like bc I have never smelled something so awful. They smelled like this riding thru the rivers in St. Croix and now after getting all wet riding yesterday ( great forecast Weather.com...NOT) I am not sure if i should just get a new pair or just stop smelling them.

Lance deserves better that this. Ijust cant help but wonder WHO is behind this and why all the sudden the witchhunt is back on. I cant help but suspect that somehow if he were not in top contention for WTC Races and The IM World Championships that this accusation wouldnt have surfaced ever? Why now?

I have the BEST team of people taking care of me. Medical Doctors, Dr of Chiropractic, Massage Therapist, Acupuncturist...I wish you all could see them, as long as you dont make it too hard for me to get in. I cant tell you how nice it is trust that you are doing what you can to get better.  I just need to not get in the way of my own progress. Sounds familiar?

Rest is important. When i ran today I felt light on my feet, I did not feel as bad as i thought i would. Taking 2 weeks off running wont kill you.

Jen is not only a great coach she is a great friend. I am lucky to have her in my life.

Speaking of friends I am sorrounded with girfriends that have stepped out of the shadows to support me not only in triathlon but life in general. For that I am so thankful.

Rich is in a tough place, not yet in the study we had hoped he would be in he has not had chemo for 5 weeks. We are praying he gets into the study, but alot of this is out of our hands due to some bloodwork "issues." Please keep him and us in your prayers. Its hard to think he wont be riding some of my epic rides with me, but i think its best he save his energy. That makes me very sad.

My family is again amazing. I am thankful everyday for my parents and amazed at them at the ages of 85 ( dad) and nearly 83 ( mom) they are truly incredible and i sure hope my gene's hold up and i can be like them in another 40 years.

Like i said, next year. Who wants to go to Tahoe? I had my hopes on Texas, but that seems to be sitting by the sidelines. Damie?

Then again I really would love to kick the Half distance. With this injury I have been thinking how nice it would be to get the 70.3 distance under my spell. Lots to decide, and not sure the KQ slot is really all that anyways.

Have a nice Father's Day!

A New Week!

So thanks for all the support and Yes I CAN do this! I think it was Steve that said "Wow you take race week seriously." And ya you know its because I love to train dont get me wrong, its the daily stuff I love, but the race is the reward. It's like the bonus on your paycheck ( not that i get those) or the frosting on the cake, cream cheese frosting of course. I lose my mojo if I am just training and so it stings to miss the party. I have to say you cant go looking at results thinking " I would have gotten 1st or 5th," bc race day is a gamble, weather, etc. and I Also figure that just as I may be struggling to fix some body part that isnt 100% you gotta bet there are alot of others that are fighting to be there too. Especially as we are into our 40's. You 20-30's may not get that, Yet.

I was cleared to do some riding this week with a Watt cap. Just fine. Funny thing is that after i rode 6 miles sunday ( yes I said 6, not 60) at a really slow pace knowing darn well into a wind and on hills that keeping that Watt cap would not work 100% of the time. I got sick. Like so sick i couldnt eat till today at 10 am. Last thing i ate, sadly before i had overwelming nausea, was a Vega Shake and Go Berry shake. I used to like those but for whatever reason that shake was all I tasted till this morning. CY, it's yours. Crap I dont think i can look at that for a bit.

Im not sure what was up. I finally took one of Rich's anti nausea pills and made it thru the night, sipping on sprite. It was too close to home tho bc the night of IM wisconsin i had the same thing. Nausea, sweats, all I could drink was sprite. Yuk. I do know that yesterday I did NOT take too much salt in, so who knows. I do. I am exhausted.

Rich does not Sleep. Well he does, in fits and starts, so that means alot of interuppted sleep for me. I feel awful saying this but I sleep best when he is not in teh same room bc he gets up alot and he isnt "light on his feet" when he does. I slept last night from 9-6am ( we had a massive storm so i didnt actually fall asleep till about 11) then i got up, felt like crap, and went back to bed till 9. Then i got up and actually MADE myself eat some rice cereal with 1/2banana and almond milk. It sat ok. Then i read and...fell asleep again till 12:30. I think i clocked in 16 hours. And I am planning on clocking in at least 9 tonight.

I am a sleeper. I was never a "Sleep to escape" person, like not like i needed it to not be depressed, but in college I never pulled an all nighter and usually if i was up till midnight it was rare. Maybe after finals, but i swear anytime i stayed up past 1 or 2 I would get sick. So now I am an 8-9 hour girl. My dad is the same way, my sister elizabeth as well. It must be genetic. And really I can tell you that up until I was in my 40's I never got sick and I never got injured. TO play D1 sports and never be injured is pretty rare I think. Of course that was maybe when people didnt train like crazypeople. Anyways. I also know that despite not feeling it, the stress of the last year has taken its toll. I have been sick more this past year than I have in ??? I cant remember. Not deathly ill but stuff that never happened before, so now its operation rest and sleep and heal. And also not worry. Good luck with that one, right?

Leg is doing great. I go back to see the "tenderizer" tommorrow so i will be sore for a few days. All joking aside what Josh does, the deep transverse friction massage, is what really re-aligns the tissue and helps it gorw back and "work" how it should. The PRP is the catalyst and now with Josh's chinese torture for the next two weeks and some eccentric strength, the leg will be good to go for the rest of the season. I know darn well that things dont heal in 2 weeks. more like 6 weeks and 6 mos for good, but I am praying this holds thru Madison. and if i need another shot i know now what to expect. But lets assume this is going to stick. IF i can keep my side of the bargain, Rest, hopefully I can PLAY a bit on the race course even before Madison.

I CAN do this!!!

So one of my mantras when i race is "Be Brave." This applies to alot in my life obviously, not just racing. But i have found that when my leg would get sore torwards the mid to end of a half Iron that i had to really think about "Being BRAVE!" I also would use this mantra when I was hammering away and realized it was ONLY mile 20? Really? I have 36 more miles to go? Being brave and also trusting in myself really got me thru the overanalysis of the discomfort or the mental enormity of what I had ahead in a half iron race. Funny how with the swim i dont have any of that. That either means the swim is too short or I am just that much more confident. In reality spending 30+ minutes likely in a wetsuit does not have any merit in the "needing alot of guts," department to me. Sorry if you disagree, but 2-3 hours on the bike and 1:30-2hours running just needs more attention:)

So when i think about how TOUGH today has been for me I have to think and trust as much as i can that this is the right thing to do. It is killing me today. Its nearly 90, its hot, I was supposed to be racing tmmrw and everyone and their brother's uncle is racing locally or at KS or at EM. Or they are doing BSLT. I shyly asked my md if i could MAYBE still race BSLT and she advised agasinst it. I knew that but i acted like a 5 yo that didnt want to nap. Just in case my mom would let me get away with it. At least I didnt follow it up with a tantrum. Yet.

What is really killing me is that I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSELF! Some of you may call that mature decision making. Yes. I know i am clouded right now by seeing you all ride and sweat and do more than walk slowly around the block for 25 minutes making sure to feel your glutes. I could have been racing this weekend, and i chose not to. And while I am 99% happy with this decision, its just been a hair pulling out day. I sorta knew the weekend would be the real challenge. Weekday I can work and I am not missing out on all the playtime. And really, I know that this is best. But I cant help but wonder "What if i had decided to race this weekend?" Then i pull back and say " Dum-As you would have been a mess all week worrying if you made the right decision about the PRP and you said you were going to decide and not look back." TRUST in that decision. Thing is I never had any pain or symptoms riding or swimming, yet I am not allowed to swim hard or ride AT. All. Monday i get to ride 15 minutes, with a Watt ceiling.

Will one of you pick me up in Wisconsin? 15 minutes barely gets me down all the hills to the river. Sigh.

And again I back up to my mantra of BE BRAVE, you can do this. And Trust in the plan. TRUST that this is going to work, and that all the "unicorns and rainbows" that were injected into your backside will do what they need to do to help heal that -opathy. I am keeping this un-scientific for a reason, we can get back to collagen and healing in the next post. But for now I had to get this "I am struggling" out of the way. And as you can tell this is a 90 % mental struggle, 10% physical, because i am darn lucky i can move and swim! I actually have started telling myself that I am nuts and this is going to be the best thing ever for my running. And the non-trash talking Julia is warning the other 45-49 yo's to watch your back bc I am going to run sub 4 at Madison. Just wait and see.

I can do this......

Poke Poke Poke

Well here we are, day 2 of some R and R and a short post about my latest fun at the MD's office. Lucky for you I really think this stuff is sorta cool, and while i dont love seeing blood and needles I was laughing when the MD and her asst kept asking me " Do you faint? are you feeling ok?" Thankfully i made sure I was hydrated in the am so that the blood draw was not painful for either of us.

So long story short, and gosh I may still write a longer post about this bc I really think this is a great treatment and I myself have seen this work, on me! Lets hope it does the trick now.
I was in and out in an hour and off to work. We started with a diagnostic ultrasound where they looked at my hamstring tendons. You can look at the Ischial Tuberosity and see how the hamstring attaches, if it looks "clean" or a bit "messy, frayed" etc..luckily i had nothing that looked really suspect. I am not good at looking at US, I would rather see a MRI or CT or Xray but you get the idea. She marked off 6 spots. YES SIX!!!

Luckily she didnt look too much at my glute or at my shoulder  or...bc I am sure there was stuff that happens with age. But anyhoot...so she numbed me up good. This hurt a little bit, but really it wasnt too bad, sorta "prick, burn..." and we wait. Waited about 15 minutes in which time they took about 2 tubes of blood from my very slow running blood. Low BP and low resting HR! Then they go spin that and MD and I chatted about WHY so many women have high hamstring issues!!! Not just triathletes, but runners too. She treats this alot and we do know this:
Its a combination of lack of glute strength, and in triathletes, we THINK, the aggressive position we re in for so long. Less aggressive TT positions, as you know, are more quad dominant. We are set up to use our glutes and of course our hamstrings on the pedal stroke. That is what gives us much more power, but i do know i love my new position, but i have thought about making it less agressive since i did NOT have this issue last year.

When the plasma is done, ( and I have some nice looking plasma!) they put that into a thicker needle and inject it into the sites that are numb. That hurt a little bit, and she did say the needle was thicker bc plasma is thicker. And from the looks of the dots on my butt/hamstring that needle WAS thicker! Ha. But so far so good. I must be tuff bc my butt aches but nothing like the pain inflicted by Josh Sandell who i think mistakes me for his NFL players. And of course I cant finish this post without referencing my triple nerve block i had in february which was in my hand and i tell you, it was a 20 out of 10 on the painscale.

One person told me PRP hurt more than child birth. And I have no kids, but i was insulted for all of you that have kids, I mean really. I did hear that the NFL players cry like babies when they get this and they have to be scheduled  late in the day so that nobody is in the clinic. Ahh, the psychology of pain.

So some downtime this week. I can swim  and I can do some light walking, and next week some power based riding. Meaning EASY. Coach Jen said "thank GOD at least you can move!" and I said "yes Otherwise i was going to get my Rx for Prozac!"

There ya have it. Eyes on the prize: Sept 9, 2012....

Life Gives You Lemons....

Or....Life is a bowl full of cherries, till you get to the rotten ones....
Or....Reality Check 101!!!



Anyways I can go on FOR-EVER with different posts. But i will say this, Life has given me alot of sugar too, but sometimes the sugar and the lemons dont find a good balance and you are left with some choices as to how to sweeten the lemonade.

You guys and gals have been so amazing in supporting me with Rich and just with life in general and that support has helped me beyond words. Comments or emails or just knowing you are thinking about us, even for a second, is wonderful. Today I decided to write about me. Rich is good. We have to change up a few things and he is starting a new drug set and is part of a clinical trial in a week, but we are staying put and we dont have to drive to Mayo. Yay. He is riding his bike more than me and i feel like an out of shape slacker. And that is going to just get worse after monday.

I am not racing Kansas. I am not racing BSLT. Damn it I am racing IM Wisconsin tho!

Sigh. Yea can you do the math on those? At least there were no plane tickets bought. So WTC owes me big time, just in kind, if anything:)

Monday i am in the hands of a wonderful MD who will give me prolotherapy into my sore hamstring tendon. PRP, to be exact. Plasma Rich Protein. Not covered by insurance. ( Yes the dollar bills keep flying, but heck i have a job, stuff happens, this is what we do.) and I will rest for 2 weeks. No not swim, not legs off rest, totally rest. That is the key to this working. Maybe if i feel up to it iwill write an amazingly scientific blog about the process and the protocol and all that, bc if you look online the jury is out as to how effective this is. I just know my MD has a 100% success rate with this and so Damn Straight i am going to follow her orders. I would hate to be the outlier :) And she just did IMSG So she knows the timeline, she knows what i need to do to get ready for Madison, and she says i can do it.

Trust me. I spent some back and forth on this. I can run. I can run pretty fast, but i get some "discomfort" and no its not pain. One reason i decided to do this is that i am not totally a gimp yet. I am strong. I do not have symptoms doing anything but running, and even then i can run thru this. But there comes a point when i have to say "What would you tell your patient if they were trying to decide?" And I would tell me, as my patient, to get this done. I SO WANTED to go to Kansas. My MD said she saw no reason to not go to KS. Go, have fun. Do it when you get back. But to be honest I knew i would worry. 7 hour car drive alone, = too much me in my own head.

What really clarified this was not looking at the calender. I was doing that like a freak,  how many weeks do i have to train for Madison? That helped bc I realixe I can be up and going by July, hopefully, but it was that i thought about AFTER Madison. And about this winter and about NEXT YEAR! Lets not make this worse, bc when you let something get acute so that pain starts to inhibit muscle use, well then you get weak. We see it alot with older adults. "My knees hurt, so i dont walk as much." They dont walk as much and they get weak. In Athletes we see this more in a compensatory fashion. It hurts but your body is so smart that it just uses something else, usually in the wrong action, and you all the sudden are sore and creating new injures. The body is amazing, but sometimes we need to shut it down and shut our minds up.

When did this "happen?" Well i have had this before, about 10 years ago. I let it get to that point of total demise. No glutes, no strength. I was a tennis player, Rt dominant and guess which leg you lunge and slide with the most, when your FOREHAND rocks? Well that Left leg got alot of slide time, but my Rt leg is way stronger. So I am more apt to get this. Also tendonopathy or -osis does NOT happen over night. Likely its been stewing away since last fall. This winter i had some Lft glute issues, but usually just after racing. I could localize it and it got better with some massage, and of course PT, doing my strength work likely got me where i am and is allowing me to keep being active. But after St Croix and pushing speed a bit on longer runs leading up to it i would get SO TIGHT in my lateral hamstring at the insertion it felt like someone had a vice grip on it. IT was not in the belly of the hamstring. Running downhill was harder ( ie, not a good sign...eccentric lengthenig of the muscle) wheras uphill ( shortening the mm) I could feel it but i didnt get that TUGGING.

Fast forward to Gear West. The first time i felt it on the bike. Oh and i ran hard before hand. Ok, I was not sure sore after, running fast is more concentric ( ie shorten shorten shorten) wheras duration and longer work is more eccentric, those muscles are not firing as fast, you have more graded shorten and lengthen of the muscles, and add in some speed and you have a girl with a shortened stride looking like granny at the end of the race. Little steps are fine but....not bc you have to!

So here I sit, dropping out of KS and BSLT with the hopes of arriving at the start line of Wisconsin injury free. Maybe undertrained, but having a bit of muscle memory for the training and the distance and knowing how to fuel are going to be in my favor. I am nervous but i am also really excited to get this behind me. And after Wisconsin? Who knows. I would love to do IM Texas. See, Last i heard Triathlon isnt going anywhere!

So I have a few lemons right now but once i get that PRP I suspect that HS tendon is going to be fired up and heal and be ready to run even faster, and with less discomfort. I cant wait:)

Next time I will write about what the protocol is and how i diagnosed this. Since i have had it before I sorta knew but maybe i can help some of you avoid it or at least treat it. You dont have to get the shots, but the alternative isnt comfortable either.

Happy Weekend. I am traning Big this weekend, so i can earn that 2 weeks off:) I may be blogging more! And i may need to have a huge dose of patience.....remind me, ok?