Today, March 2 2009 Iona's life journey ended. My parents spent the night downstairs on the couch at her side. We think she had had a stroke. In addition to pure weakness in her legs and hips, a front right paw that looked like a softball ( arthritis) and a sunken head ( atrophy of the masseter muscle) she wasnt giving up. Saturday night she dragged herself up the stairs to my parents bedroom bumping into walls as she went. My mom and dad were patient and saintly setting up yoga mats thru the house so she could walk on the slippery wood floors.
I wasnt ready for this. And before anyone starts with the "it is a dog, it isnt a person" stuff just know that for whatever reason Iona's passing has hit me hard. I dont know for sure why. Maybe it is as Rich said the feeling of "Man, if this is that hard, I wonder how hard it is going to be when I lose a loved PERSON." I havent lost a loved one since my mom's mom "Mimi" passed away. It was a long time ago, I cant even tell you how long ago. At least 10 years.
But I think it is more than that. Iona got me thru some rough years of my life in my late 20's and 30's. I dont blog about it alot but just know that she was there for me and she always greeted me with a smile, the hi-ho-iona dance and more barks and jumps than i usually wanted. I Am not going to analyze it too much. I will say this, I did a bang up workout on the trainer from 9-10:15 am, I was focused I was working on nutrition ( I even gagged down a gel just to PRACTICE, ick) and i hit the watts right on. ( And before you get all nervous, trust me, my watts wont blow you away, have you seen my chicken legs?!) Ok I had to make a joke just needed it.
And when i finished to cool down I suddenly burst into tears. I started wanting hospice care for the dog. I didnt want her to have that white knuckle drive to the vet and that fear in her eyes.
I wanted to do something so she wasnt alone and wasnt scared. And from then on my sunny sunday was spent crying about every hour, even in her presence, which likely upset her more than me:)
Funny how you can press out feelings of stress or anxiety but after a really hard effort it is like the flood gates open. Wow. Rich and I had Guthrie Tickets to see Shakespeares's Two Gentelman from Verona. I knew it would be good for me to go. And wouldnt you know it there was a dog in the play and a song about "big brown eyes." Great. Just what i needed. Not.
So today, monday, my parents took her in. I had given her permission to let go and as my mom said " I wish lightening would strike or she would just die at home." But from what i heard ( yes I was the one driving around all day to my worksites with the dark hollywood glasses on to cover my puffy eyes) it was lovely. Our vet is a great man and we like him alot. I feel calm in his presence and i just pray that Iona's journey was peaceful and that she is now swimming in the lake, chasing squirrels and has a constant hand at her side to pet her.
Below are just some pictures that I like. Her favorite place was at our cabin so I think the plan is to put her ashes up there so she is always in the great outdoors. Encampment Forest. Her second home.
Listening to nephew Joe sing the chipmunk song with his webkin. Tolerant dog!
And Yes she knows how to use the foam roller.
Bye Baby!!! We love you.