A Two-Fer post

Part 1, an email my mom sent me: remember my parents are in their 80's so i listen to their advice:

Q: Doctor, I've

heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this

true?
A: Your heart

only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise.

Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you

live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.

Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I

reduce my alcohol intake?
A:

No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled

wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of

goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom

up!

Q: How

can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you

have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two

bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What

are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise

program?
A: Can't think

of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't

fried foods bad for you?
A:

YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.

In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting

more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q:

Will

sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

middle?
A: Definitely

not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be

doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is

chocolate bad for me?
A: Are

you crazy ?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!

It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is

swimming good for your figure?
A: If

swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is

getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey!

'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope

this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and

diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT

be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an

attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -

Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,

totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you

who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional

studies.

1. The

Japanese eat very little fat and suffer

fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of

fat and suffer

fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little

red wine and suffer

fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red

wine and suffer

fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot

of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than

Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink

what you like. Speaking English

is apparently what kills you.

So what do you think i do when i read this?

Believe it?

Decide to start speaking French?

Nope.

I signed up for Ironman Wisconsin, 2011. But i am not speaking English on 9/11/11. Ok?

Ironman and Active.com have a few things to learn about how to best process 1000 hits in 1 second, but other than that stress, and feeling like i had the same nervous stomach pre sign up as i do pre race I felt ready. I knew that after the site went online it was out of my hands and if i didnt get in, well that was meant to be. But finally on wednesday i got in. And thursday I woke up with a hangover( not a real hangover) and a "WHAT DID I DO?" And a groan. Then again i think that was bc coach had assigned a challenging trainer wko for the day AFTER the sign up and i was not recovered enough and was scared of it. I think coaching protocol should change so that the day after sign up you get a recovery day. Just sayin'....Hear that coachie poo?

But in all seriousness, i mean this is a serious topic. NOT.

I know if i trust her, I will get to the finish line. End of story. There is plenty of time to think about wheels ( do i ride sewups, can i change a sewup,) and technology ( i dont have a Garmin, do i need a Garmin?) and all the other one million and three questions i have for all of you.

So I cant possibly post all the thoughts that have gone thru my head but the bottom line of signing up for an Ironman is that in my heart of hearts I know i can do it. I am excited to train and i am excited to expreience the highs and lows that day will bring. I have already started apologizing to my family. My family gets it, I am not sure if my inlaws will but here is what my mom and dad said:

Mom "As long as you can come to the family reunion in Iowa in August that is fine. You can bike down to Iowa, get there in time for the ice cream social."

Dad " Is that the thing your sister did in Hawaii?"

* here is studly sister last year in Galveston....as she reminds me " i did IM / Kona BEFORE GELS were invented." And actually that is pretty cool, i think!

Me " Yes dad but i only have to go to Wisconsin."

Dad " Oh that sounds better."

When i asked Rich to remind me that i can do it, ( meaning when i am crying on a 100 mile ride and whineing next summer) he said "You can do it." NO I dont need you to " ecoutez et repetez" now i mean when it counts! I know i can do it NOW, but when i need you is later, like in March when i have to ride 100 miles on my road bike. To which Rich says " Ok, but can we stress about some other stuff first?"

Ha, how well he knows me.

And you see, I am familiar with this position after long rides. I am READY!

5 x 5k relay tommorrow with some fun Gear West Bike and Tri teammates. I have to take photos and will hope its above 50. We have had an abrupt start to fall. Not at all what i want right now. Other than our pool is 59 degrees. Free ice baths, if you live local, come on over!