I CAN do this!!!

So one of my mantras when i race is "Be Brave." This applies to alot in my life obviously, not just racing. But i have found that when my leg would get sore torwards the mid to end of a half Iron that i had to really think about "Being BRAVE!" I also would use this mantra when I was hammering away and realized it was ONLY mile 20? Really? I have 36 more miles to go? Being brave and also trusting in myself really got me thru the overanalysis of the discomfort or the mental enormity of what I had ahead in a half iron race. Funny how with the swim i dont have any of that. That either means the swim is too short or I am just that much more confident. In reality spending 30+ minutes likely in a wetsuit does not have any merit in the "needing alot of guts," department to me. Sorry if you disagree, but 2-3 hours on the bike and 1:30-2hours running just needs more attention:)

So when i think about how TOUGH today has been for me I have to think and trust as much as i can that this is the right thing to do. It is killing me today. Its nearly 90, its hot, I was supposed to be racing tmmrw and everyone and their brother's uncle is racing locally or at KS or at EM. Or they are doing BSLT. I shyly asked my md if i could MAYBE still race BSLT and she advised agasinst it. I knew that but i acted like a 5 yo that didnt want to nap. Just in case my mom would let me get away with it. At least I didnt follow it up with a tantrum. Yet.

What is really killing me is that I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSELF! Some of you may call that mature decision making. Yes. I know i am clouded right now by seeing you all ride and sweat and do more than walk slowly around the block for 25 minutes making sure to feel your glutes. I could have been racing this weekend, and i chose not to. And while I am 99% happy with this decision, its just been a hair pulling out day. I sorta knew the weekend would be the real challenge. Weekday I can work and I am not missing out on all the playtime. And really, I know that this is best. But I cant help but wonder "What if i had decided to race this weekend?" Then i pull back and say " Dum-As you would have been a mess all week worrying if you made the right decision about the PRP and you said you were going to decide and not look back." TRUST in that decision. Thing is I never had any pain or symptoms riding or swimming, yet I am not allowed to swim hard or ride AT. All. Monday i get to ride 15 minutes, with a Watt ceiling.

Will one of you pick me up in Wisconsin? 15 minutes barely gets me down all the hills to the river. Sigh.

And again I back up to my mantra of BE BRAVE, you can do this. And Trust in the plan. TRUST that this is going to work, and that all the "unicorns and rainbows" that were injected into your backside will do what they need to do to help heal that -opathy. I am keeping this un-scientific for a reason, we can get back to collagen and healing in the next post. But for now I had to get this "I am struggling" out of the way. And as you can tell this is a 90 % mental struggle, 10% physical, because i am darn lucky i can move and swim! I actually have started telling myself that I am nuts and this is going to be the best thing ever for my running. And the non-trash talking Julia is warning the other 45-49 yo's to watch your back bc I am going to run sub 4 at Madison. Just wait and see.

I can do this......