It's been a long few weeks

Just a check in to let you know i am alive. Despite people thinking if you dont blog you must be injured or otherwise not interested in training, this isnt the case. Lately I have just been busy busy busy and barely even getting my normal day to day stuff done, much less blogging.

The past few weeks have been tough, and i mean Life Tough, not " OMG i had to do a track workout and i nearly died" tough. That sorta tough i can do. Life tough is harder. From my hand not fully wanting to be normal, to going to Mayo for a day with my sister ( she is ok), to Chemo and some stuff with Rich it has had me not taking very good care of myself. It's not like i am trying to NOT take care of myself, it just sorta happens that way. Usually it culminates in something like me pulling what i am calling a BETH SHUTT.
I walked into our lower basement closet ( its under the stairs, so you know where this is going) and there is no light. Why we store our wheel bags in there, in the dark is unknown to me. So WHAM i walk into the stair and hit a nail with my forehead. But I am very determined to find some skewers. I feel the blood but i decide not to look in the mirror for fear of freaking out. Rich tells me to wash it, I have blood all over my forehead. I was proud i didnt start crying and melt down. But i did look like a dork at the pool today with my snoopy bandaid, actually i switched it out for a clear water proof one. It's not deep just looks like i poked my head:)

Then i was looking for a pedal wrench that Rich needs and i had a few close calls with cabinets, etc and knew it was time to stop before i really did need stitches. This ends a long week.

My hand has 1-2 stitches that are not dissolving. So i guess your body tries to get them out. So i have a hard time resting on the hoods when riding my road bike. I have a little set up i can use with a corn donut but it still hurts when i hit bumps and my hand cramps bc I have to hold it funny. But i cant complain, I am outside riding. No complaints just wish it wouldnt hurt!

Spending a full day at Mayo was good, we got some answers for my sister, and i felt like the A++ tourguide knowing all the buildings, where to park, where to get Jimmy John's and where all the best bathrooms are. But at the same time it really freaked me out. It brought back some really BAD ( for lack of a better negative vibe term) memories and as much as i love that place for medical care Its sad bc everyone there for the most part is there for something serious. When you think about it, that makes it touching and scarey to be there again.

Then i ran a race this weekend. I had not felt great all week, just tired, and didnt feel recovered and not sleeping great. I have gotten to the point where i am looking for my "nibble" of ambien at night. I dont like taking that, but even 1/4 of a 10 mg pill helps. We had a work dinner friday night that was for Rich and I had to go. IT was not what i would have eaten before a half mary and it was alot of "blahlblahblah" I would not have normally done the night before a race either. I had no wine. And after the race saturday i had a split second of thinking I must have needed wine. Then when i nearly passed out in my sisters kitchen I realized that was not what i needed the night before. I needed salt.

IT as hot and humid. And the course was deceptively challenging with a mostly downhill out with a tailwind and a mostly uphill back with a headwind. I Ran that entire thing in Zone 4. Yup. Maybe that will get me out of some interval work to come, but honestly that was how hard i was working to keep a 7:15-7:20 pace. And i knew around mile 4 i was not going to be able to do that. I eased it back a bit and at the turn around the hills hit and the wind hit and it was a total sufferfest. My toes cramped around mile 8, my quad starting to talk to me around mile 8 too. The only other time i have had toe cramps, you know, the one's that wake you up at night when they get STUCK? those. Was in Kansas last year and as i ran and tried to not blowup, I had the " LIGHT BULB" go off.

Guess who needs salt? Me! Guess who had no clue she would need salt in March at an 8 am race? ME!
I had plenty of Kcals on board, just not enough Na+ so i shot a powergel ( brought it just in case as i had a hand held flask i knew i would ditch) and i think that Powergel and its CRAMP busting powers got me over the finish much slower than the way out, but still within 3 minutes of my flat and cool race in April in Naples FLA. Hard to swallow that run as i felt much better trained than i ran, but i also felt like those last 4 miles were like the IM. So guess i did what i could. As I left the race site there were at least 2 ambulances so i know i didnt hurt myself. Walked to my sisters about a mile away then got sorta woozy so she gave me some gatorade. I had given my beer coupons away:)

As much as that Half was hard and I kept telling myself to be Brave, to not giveup even tho i felt like my legs were LEAD, it will serve me i know. It wasnt THAT hot but the humidity was up and 70's and humid is a change from 40-50 even. It tells me what i need to work on with the nutrition for my upcoming hot races, and i am determined to give the Liquid shot one more try bc it just sits better in my stomach than the powergels, But it will mean some playing around with Salt Stick. Scarey to think i dont have this down yet. and it is EARLY I know we arent acclimated!

We head west thursday, after rich gets unplugged from chemo. I really need a vacation. A vacation to take care or me, to do what i want to do, and not what everyone else needs. I need a vacation to just decompress, not worry, to not worry about whether my mother in law knows where we are every minute, and after a week of that I get to go play with my JHC pals. I cant wait.

One week later...

And I never thought i was a fast healer, but viola, pretty amazing the body isnt it?
Nothing much to report here today, just show and tell:

I did a nice 4000yd little swim and this is how it looked after. I was a bit paranoid, but Rich said it was fine, and we put a steri strip on it just to be sure. I see the MD tmmrw, so he can be all happy about his work and hopefully tell me it was nothing bc who gets melanoma subcutaneously under their palmar skin? ( I was going to say aponeurosis, but i know Kari doenst like medical terms)
Other than that the weekend was really stressful. I guess i undersestimated how much this would take out of me mentally, i was devastated to miss Valentine's day ( kidding) and my tri week was a rest week which was good, but i think i needed another rest week again bc sunday i woke up and could not walk. I really could NOT put weight on my left leg.
I attribute this to:
Heels at a wedding the night before, not walking normally in a full stride
A dumb massage where i let her dig into my hip flexors a bit too  much after a 1:30 hour trainer ride
The ride wasnt over the top, but it had some efforts in it, but gee whiz. really?

I think it is/was  my Sartorius ( longest mm in the body) but it was like all the sudden 2 days later it was gone.  I did have someone "Clear" my hip, and i was negative for anything in the joint and i could not reproduce the pain at all. The worst was that i could not for the life of me get off the toilet. Funny I know. my leg buckled. I am still a bit sore in the groin region but i ran today and so far so good.It seems like sleeping and the AM is the worst. Sounds like I am getting old, doesnt it? Well too old for heels, they went into the back of the closet never to be seen again.

What Did you do on Valentine's Day?

Ya this will be short bc I am typing one handed.

Here I am looking pretty smug

no problemo

It's about NOW I am fondlyrecalling my melanoma excision in the Derm's oupatient surgery center 4+ yearsago. Here I have had a shot of Lido and Epi ( numb it and vasoconstrict it) that wasthe size of Mt everest.I kid you not. I am ok with injections. But when I sawthat syringe i knew we werein for abattle.
I pulled out a few " damn it you felt worse at mile 20 of IM...." and "breathe." I think  the PA nearly got kicked bc this was a three for. three or as rich says a"triangulation ---insert some medical term"

I think i fired off afew desperate texts to rich, damie and Jen and read a chapter of my book to distract which i nowneed to read again.
Note the surgeon's signing off AT and me saying YES this hand.

It all started here:

 And if you hadnt had a melanoma and a viglient DERM you would, as i did, think its a broken blood vessel that sorta clotted, for lack of a better term. But when she see'sblue or black that means"Biopsy" andsadly this was setting up housekeeping in the palmar aponeurosis ( fascia) or actually I think it was deeper bc Doc Thomas said he had agood look at the Ulnar Nerve and Artery and they were fine. That both fascinates me and makes me realize hewas digging away deeper than the fascia.

So now i feel like this:

See? Close isnt it?

But i still made dessert:)
And no, much to many's suggestions i didnt use my hand as an oven mit.



The prognosis is good. He said its likely a Hemangioma, or a blood vessel, but they sent it off to get biopsied for sure. Overall I am glad i did it. It didnt bother me other than riding or pumping my tires, but once you have had the C word,and knowingwhat battles Rich has ahead its silly to not get this out.
I cant swim for a few days but that is ok. I have an Rx for some vicodin that i wont fill and hopeully iwill feel better soon!
Hope you had a less eventful day!