Hey...

That is about all I have to say. "Hey."

I was riding today and while i was losing interest  staying focused on a long cool down, I realized I have very little positive to say on my blog right now. That isnt to say I am all doom and gloom. But for now I just dont have the energy or desire to write about cancer or comeback from injury. I dont totally agree when people say "blog goes blank = injury" bc I am actually doing quite well. I just dont have the interest or the energy to spend right now and most of you that are my friends email me and you know what is going on. If you arent, dont be offended. I will come back sometime. Maybe sooner than I think.
The hamstring is pretty good. My Glutes ( specifically my glute med) is getting a torturous workout and i am running. Not fast. Not alot. I am still 3 weeks out, usually its 6 weeks before the leash is off. I am riding normally and swimming well. That is about all I have to say, other than as you know, a return from injury means other stuff barks too. Rich is ok. Not great. Not awful. He starts a new round of chemo tmmrw and honestly we hope he feels as good as he has with the last drugs. He sure felt worse this last month than ever, which in and of itself is worrisome.

I decided my life and my love of being active ( and kicking tail) cant be dictated by an M dot race. So come Wisconsin I may not have my full physical fitness but the mental fitness starts now. Bring it on race day, its what is going on upstairs as much as what is going on in the hamstrings.

That's it from the OK Coral.

Things I Know Today

It's Father's Day which is weird for me and Rich. He is a great father. But he is not the father of my children nor is he my father. My dad is out of town and since his birthday is always the weekend before father's day he has always said "dont give your money to Hallmark." Love it.

Despite not running or riding with any intensity I havent gained any weight. Hate me if you want.

Just to follow that last " Thing I know" I have been eating. And I dont find anything wrong with good grains and bread. Or maybe some Blue Bunny Carrot Cake ice milk, if you must know. I sorta hoped it would be like the Birthday Cake ice cream that sounds so good, but is repulsive but the CC ice milk is actually really good.

I am sorry Cheryl, I havent been to DQ.

When i got a stomach virus last weekend the last thing i had eaten was a VEGA Shake and Go Smoothie. That stuff is too spendy to throw out but the thought of it makes me want to hurl. I will give it another week or two.

My sister's cat YETI is albino and deaf. He is adoreable and has all sorts of Stevie Wonder head bobs, but he always makes my hands and wrists itch and my eyes water. Allergic? i think so.

I ran for a very short time today. I was fine. I feel like i could have run more, so that means i stopped when i should have. My IM is a ways off. I have time and i know i will be ready. AT the same time I am thinking about 2013, and that makes me excited.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY miss Time Trialing. I hope i can do that soon.

My bike shoes STINK like ...I cant even tell you what they stink like bc I have never smelled something so awful. They smelled like this riding thru the rivers in St. Croix and now after getting all wet riding yesterday ( great forecast Weather.com...NOT) I am not sure if i should just get a new pair or just stop smelling them.

Lance deserves better that this. Ijust cant help but wonder WHO is behind this and why all the sudden the witchhunt is back on. I cant help but suspect that somehow if he were not in top contention for WTC Races and The IM World Championships that this accusation wouldnt have surfaced ever? Why now?

I have the BEST team of people taking care of me. Medical Doctors, Dr of Chiropractic, Massage Therapist, Acupuncturist...I wish you all could see them, as long as you dont make it too hard for me to get in. I cant tell you how nice it is trust that you are doing what you can to get better.  I just need to not get in the way of my own progress. Sounds familiar?

Rest is important. When i ran today I felt light on my feet, I did not feel as bad as i thought i would. Taking 2 weeks off running wont kill you.

Jen is not only a great coach she is a great friend. I am lucky to have her in my life.

Speaking of friends I am sorrounded with girfriends that have stepped out of the shadows to support me not only in triathlon but life in general. For that I am so thankful.

Rich is in a tough place, not yet in the study we had hoped he would be in he has not had chemo for 5 weeks. We are praying he gets into the study, but alot of this is out of our hands due to some bloodwork "issues." Please keep him and us in your prayers. Its hard to think he wont be riding some of my epic rides with me, but i think its best he save his energy. That makes me very sad.

My family is again amazing. I am thankful everyday for my parents and amazed at them at the ages of 85 ( dad) and nearly 83 ( mom) they are truly incredible and i sure hope my gene's hold up and i can be like them in another 40 years.

Like i said, next year. Who wants to go to Tahoe? I had my hopes on Texas, but that seems to be sitting by the sidelines. Damie?

Then again I really would love to kick the Half distance. With this injury I have been thinking how nice it would be to get the 70.3 distance under my spell. Lots to decide, and not sure the KQ slot is really all that anyways.

Have a nice Father's Day!

A New Week!

So thanks for all the support and Yes I CAN do this! I think it was Steve that said "Wow you take race week seriously." And ya you know its because I love to train dont get me wrong, its the daily stuff I love, but the race is the reward. It's like the bonus on your paycheck ( not that i get those) or the frosting on the cake, cream cheese frosting of course. I lose my mojo if I am just training and so it stings to miss the party. I have to say you cant go looking at results thinking " I would have gotten 1st or 5th," bc race day is a gamble, weather, etc. and I Also figure that just as I may be struggling to fix some body part that isnt 100% you gotta bet there are alot of others that are fighting to be there too. Especially as we are into our 40's. You 20-30's may not get that, Yet.

I was cleared to do some riding this week with a Watt cap. Just fine. Funny thing is that after i rode 6 miles sunday ( yes I said 6, not 60) at a really slow pace knowing darn well into a wind and on hills that keeping that Watt cap would not work 100% of the time. I got sick. Like so sick i couldnt eat till today at 10 am. Last thing i ate, sadly before i had overwelming nausea, was a Vega Shake and Go Berry shake. I used to like those but for whatever reason that shake was all I tasted till this morning. CY, it's yours. Crap I dont think i can look at that for a bit.

Im not sure what was up. I finally took one of Rich's anti nausea pills and made it thru the night, sipping on sprite. It was too close to home tho bc the night of IM wisconsin i had the same thing. Nausea, sweats, all I could drink was sprite. Yuk. I do know that yesterday I did NOT take too much salt in, so who knows. I do. I am exhausted.

Rich does not Sleep. Well he does, in fits and starts, so that means alot of interuppted sleep for me. I feel awful saying this but I sleep best when he is not in teh same room bc he gets up alot and he isnt "light on his feet" when he does. I slept last night from 9-6am ( we had a massive storm so i didnt actually fall asleep till about 11) then i got up, felt like crap, and went back to bed till 9. Then i got up and actually MADE myself eat some rice cereal with 1/2banana and almond milk. It sat ok. Then i read and...fell asleep again till 12:30. I think i clocked in 16 hours. And I am planning on clocking in at least 9 tonight.

I am a sleeper. I was never a "Sleep to escape" person, like not like i needed it to not be depressed, but in college I never pulled an all nighter and usually if i was up till midnight it was rare. Maybe after finals, but i swear anytime i stayed up past 1 or 2 I would get sick. So now I am an 8-9 hour girl. My dad is the same way, my sister elizabeth as well. It must be genetic. And really I can tell you that up until I was in my 40's I never got sick and I never got injured. TO play D1 sports and never be injured is pretty rare I think. Of course that was maybe when people didnt train like crazypeople. Anyways. I also know that despite not feeling it, the stress of the last year has taken its toll. I have been sick more this past year than I have in ??? I cant remember. Not deathly ill but stuff that never happened before, so now its operation rest and sleep and heal. And also not worry. Good luck with that one, right?

Leg is doing great. I go back to see the "tenderizer" tommorrow so i will be sore for a few days. All joking aside what Josh does, the deep transverse friction massage, is what really re-aligns the tissue and helps it gorw back and "work" how it should. The PRP is the catalyst and now with Josh's chinese torture for the next two weeks and some eccentric strength, the leg will be good to go for the rest of the season. I know darn well that things dont heal in 2 weeks. more like 6 weeks and 6 mos for good, but I am praying this holds thru Madison. and if i need another shot i know now what to expect. But lets assume this is going to stick. IF i can keep my side of the bargain, Rest, hopefully I can PLAY a bit on the race course even before Madison.

I CAN do this!!!

So one of my mantras when i race is "Be Brave." This applies to alot in my life obviously, not just racing. But i have found that when my leg would get sore torwards the mid to end of a half Iron that i had to really think about "Being BRAVE!" I also would use this mantra when I was hammering away and realized it was ONLY mile 20? Really? I have 36 more miles to go? Being brave and also trusting in myself really got me thru the overanalysis of the discomfort or the mental enormity of what I had ahead in a half iron race. Funny how with the swim i dont have any of that. That either means the swim is too short or I am just that much more confident. In reality spending 30+ minutes likely in a wetsuit does not have any merit in the "needing alot of guts," department to me. Sorry if you disagree, but 2-3 hours on the bike and 1:30-2hours running just needs more attention:)

So when i think about how TOUGH today has been for me I have to think and trust as much as i can that this is the right thing to do. It is killing me today. Its nearly 90, its hot, I was supposed to be racing tmmrw and everyone and their brother's uncle is racing locally or at KS or at EM. Or they are doing BSLT. I shyly asked my md if i could MAYBE still race BSLT and she advised agasinst it. I knew that but i acted like a 5 yo that didnt want to nap. Just in case my mom would let me get away with it. At least I didnt follow it up with a tantrum. Yet.

What is really killing me is that I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSELF! Some of you may call that mature decision making. Yes. I know i am clouded right now by seeing you all ride and sweat and do more than walk slowly around the block for 25 minutes making sure to feel your glutes. I could have been racing this weekend, and i chose not to. And while I am 99% happy with this decision, its just been a hair pulling out day. I sorta knew the weekend would be the real challenge. Weekday I can work and I am not missing out on all the playtime. And really, I know that this is best. But I cant help but wonder "What if i had decided to race this weekend?" Then i pull back and say " Dum-As you would have been a mess all week worrying if you made the right decision about the PRP and you said you were going to decide and not look back." TRUST in that decision. Thing is I never had any pain or symptoms riding or swimming, yet I am not allowed to swim hard or ride AT. All. Monday i get to ride 15 minutes, with a Watt ceiling.

Will one of you pick me up in Wisconsin? 15 minutes barely gets me down all the hills to the river. Sigh.

And again I back up to my mantra of BE BRAVE, you can do this. And Trust in the plan. TRUST that this is going to work, and that all the "unicorns and rainbows" that were injected into your backside will do what they need to do to help heal that -opathy. I am keeping this un-scientific for a reason, we can get back to collagen and healing in the next post. But for now I had to get this "I am struggling" out of the way. And as you can tell this is a 90 % mental struggle, 10% physical, because i am darn lucky i can move and swim! I actually have started telling myself that I am nuts and this is going to be the best thing ever for my running. And the non-trash talking Julia is warning the other 45-49 yo's to watch your back bc I am going to run sub 4 at Madison. Just wait and see.

I can do this......

Poke Poke Poke

Well here we are, day 2 of some R and R and a short post about my latest fun at the MD's office. Lucky for you I really think this stuff is sorta cool, and while i dont love seeing blood and needles I was laughing when the MD and her asst kept asking me " Do you faint? are you feeling ok?" Thankfully i made sure I was hydrated in the am so that the blood draw was not painful for either of us.

So long story short, and gosh I may still write a longer post about this bc I really think this is a great treatment and I myself have seen this work, on me! Lets hope it does the trick now.
I was in and out in an hour and off to work. We started with a diagnostic ultrasound where they looked at my hamstring tendons. You can look at the Ischial Tuberosity and see how the hamstring attaches, if it looks "clean" or a bit "messy, frayed" etc..luckily i had nothing that looked really suspect. I am not good at looking at US, I would rather see a MRI or CT or Xray but you get the idea. She marked off 6 spots. YES SIX!!!

Luckily she didnt look too much at my glute or at my shoulder  or...bc I am sure there was stuff that happens with age. But anyhoot...so she numbed me up good. This hurt a little bit, but really it wasnt too bad, sorta "prick, burn..." and we wait. Waited about 15 minutes in which time they took about 2 tubes of blood from my very slow running blood. Low BP and low resting HR! Then they go spin that and MD and I chatted about WHY so many women have high hamstring issues!!! Not just triathletes, but runners too. She treats this alot and we do know this:
Its a combination of lack of glute strength, and in triathletes, we THINK, the aggressive position we re in for so long. Less aggressive TT positions, as you know, are more quad dominant. We are set up to use our glutes and of course our hamstrings on the pedal stroke. That is what gives us much more power, but i do know i love my new position, but i have thought about making it less agressive since i did NOT have this issue last year.

When the plasma is done, ( and I have some nice looking plasma!) they put that into a thicker needle and inject it into the sites that are numb. That hurt a little bit, and she did say the needle was thicker bc plasma is thicker. And from the looks of the dots on my butt/hamstring that needle WAS thicker! Ha. But so far so good. I must be tuff bc my butt aches but nothing like the pain inflicted by Josh Sandell who i think mistakes me for his NFL players. And of course I cant finish this post without referencing my triple nerve block i had in february which was in my hand and i tell you, it was a 20 out of 10 on the painscale.

One person told me PRP hurt more than child birth. And I have no kids, but i was insulted for all of you that have kids, I mean really. I did hear that the NFL players cry like babies when they get this and they have to be scheduled  late in the day so that nobody is in the clinic. Ahh, the psychology of pain.

So some downtime this week. I can swim  and I can do some light walking, and next week some power based riding. Meaning EASY. Coach Jen said "thank GOD at least you can move!" and I said "yes Otherwise i was going to get my Rx for Prozac!"

There ya have it. Eyes on the prize: Sept 9, 2012....

Life Gives You Lemons....

Or....Life is a bowl full of cherries, till you get to the rotten ones....
Or....Reality Check 101!!!



Anyways I can go on FOR-EVER with different posts. But i will say this, Life has given me alot of sugar too, but sometimes the sugar and the lemons dont find a good balance and you are left with some choices as to how to sweeten the lemonade.

You guys and gals have been so amazing in supporting me with Rich and just with life in general and that support has helped me beyond words. Comments or emails or just knowing you are thinking about us, even for a second, is wonderful. Today I decided to write about me. Rich is good. We have to change up a few things and he is starting a new drug set and is part of a clinical trial in a week, but we are staying put and we dont have to drive to Mayo. Yay. He is riding his bike more than me and i feel like an out of shape slacker. And that is going to just get worse after monday.

I am not racing Kansas. I am not racing BSLT. Damn it I am racing IM Wisconsin tho!

Sigh. Yea can you do the math on those? At least there were no plane tickets bought. So WTC owes me big time, just in kind, if anything:)

Monday i am in the hands of a wonderful MD who will give me prolotherapy into my sore hamstring tendon. PRP, to be exact. Plasma Rich Protein. Not covered by insurance. ( Yes the dollar bills keep flying, but heck i have a job, stuff happens, this is what we do.) and I will rest for 2 weeks. No not swim, not legs off rest, totally rest. That is the key to this working. Maybe if i feel up to it iwill write an amazingly scientific blog about the process and the protocol and all that, bc if you look online the jury is out as to how effective this is. I just know my MD has a 100% success rate with this and so Damn Straight i am going to follow her orders. I would hate to be the outlier :) And she just did IMSG So she knows the timeline, she knows what i need to do to get ready for Madison, and she says i can do it.

Trust me. I spent some back and forth on this. I can run. I can run pretty fast, but i get some "discomfort" and no its not pain. One reason i decided to do this is that i am not totally a gimp yet. I am strong. I do not have symptoms doing anything but running, and even then i can run thru this. But there comes a point when i have to say "What would you tell your patient if they were trying to decide?" And I would tell me, as my patient, to get this done. I SO WANTED to go to Kansas. My MD said she saw no reason to not go to KS. Go, have fun. Do it when you get back. But to be honest I knew i would worry. 7 hour car drive alone, = too much me in my own head.

What really clarified this was not looking at the calender. I was doing that like a freak,  how many weeks do i have to train for Madison? That helped bc I realixe I can be up and going by July, hopefully, but it was that i thought about AFTER Madison. And about this winter and about NEXT YEAR! Lets not make this worse, bc when you let something get acute so that pain starts to inhibit muscle use, well then you get weak. We see it alot with older adults. "My knees hurt, so i dont walk as much." They dont walk as much and they get weak. In Athletes we see this more in a compensatory fashion. It hurts but your body is so smart that it just uses something else, usually in the wrong action, and you all the sudden are sore and creating new injures. The body is amazing, but sometimes we need to shut it down and shut our minds up.

When did this "happen?" Well i have had this before, about 10 years ago. I let it get to that point of total demise. No glutes, no strength. I was a tennis player, Rt dominant and guess which leg you lunge and slide with the most, when your FOREHAND rocks? Well that Left leg got alot of slide time, but my Rt leg is way stronger. So I am more apt to get this. Also tendonopathy or -osis does NOT happen over night. Likely its been stewing away since last fall. This winter i had some Lft glute issues, but usually just after racing. I could localize it and it got better with some massage, and of course PT, doing my strength work likely got me where i am and is allowing me to keep being active. But after St Croix and pushing speed a bit on longer runs leading up to it i would get SO TIGHT in my lateral hamstring at the insertion it felt like someone had a vice grip on it. IT was not in the belly of the hamstring. Running downhill was harder ( ie, not a good sign...eccentric lengthenig of the muscle) wheras uphill ( shortening the mm) I could feel it but i didnt get that TUGGING.

Fast forward to Gear West. The first time i felt it on the bike. Oh and i ran hard before hand. Ok, I was not sure sore after, running fast is more concentric ( ie shorten shorten shorten) wheras duration and longer work is more eccentric, those muscles are not firing as fast, you have more graded shorten and lengthen of the muscles, and add in some speed and you have a girl with a shortened stride looking like granny at the end of the race. Little steps are fine but....not bc you have to!

So here I sit, dropping out of KS and BSLT with the hopes of arriving at the start line of Wisconsin injury free. Maybe undertrained, but having a bit of muscle memory for the training and the distance and knowing how to fuel are going to be in my favor. I am nervous but i am also really excited to get this behind me. And after Wisconsin? Who knows. I would love to do IM Texas. See, Last i heard Triathlon isnt going anywhere!

So I have a few lemons right now but once i get that PRP I suspect that HS tendon is going to be fired up and heal and be ready to run even faster, and with less discomfort. I cant wait:)

Next time I will write about what the protocol is and how i diagnosed this. Since i have had it before I sorta knew but maybe i can help some of you avoid it or at least treat it. You dont have to get the shots, but the alternative isnt comfortable either.

Happy Weekend. I am traning Big this weekend, so i can earn that 2 weeks off:) I may be blogging more! And i may need to have a huge dose of patience.....remind me, ok?

Gear West Duathlon: An Escape for the Day

I would call this a race report but to be honest i quit racing during the first leg of this race. Let me back up.

After being less than 100% from the race in St. Croix and visiting the doctor more times in a week than i had in 3 years, I was not sure i would be ready to do this duathlon. Not only is it a really hard duathlon, duathlons are hard in general. Tack on a hilly, off road, run plus a hilly, punchy bike, then you get to do the hard part of the run again. Woohoo! And to boot i knew it was not going to be sunny and 70.

But Rich was game and since my team puts it on i knew i would go either way. Why not race. I did not feel prepared in a "race" sort of way. But i was mostly not prepared bc of life's little battles. As you know Rich has been doing Chemo for 8 mos now. Wow. That is impressive. He has not once felt "sick" from cancer, and "knock on wood," has had very minimal side effects from the chemo he does every 10 days.

He gets "hooked up" to a baby bottle/ fuel belt if you will, that transfuses into his port over a 42 hour period. He gets "unhooked" on thursdays. Tuesdays is bloodwork ( INR, to check how his blood is clotting and adjust his coumadin if needed, and other stuff they check to make sure his immune system is working, etc..) They also check a CEA. Cancer Antigen.  Then we meet with the MD, and we talk about all the fun stuff we are doing and try to offset all the Debbie Downer aura we feel anytime we meet with her. We like her, dont get me wrong, but those Oncologists. Wowza. What a tough job. I guess they may teach you do not oversell what you can do. So last week ( tuesday-thursday) we were told that the blood levels indicated he should have another PET Scan. He had one in early April and it was great. Lots of dead tumors, and the drugs he was being given were working. As of last week we were really feeling totally cocky and superior.

Friday he had another Pet Scan. Things are still sorta ok, but there are some signals that tell us that the current drug regimen may not be as effective as it was and it may be time to put together another defense system to beat this awful disease. So we are going to Mayo next week to see what fun stuff they can do for us. Oh Joy. I cant help but get a huge pit in my stomach thinking about Mayo. Where it all began.

So, oh there was a race? Yes. The day i forgot about cancer for a full day.
I forgot about the words " Metastatic. " and "Palliative" and "Clinical Trial." It was awesome.

Run 1: It was super crowded. over 50 men and women in one wave and with singletrack it was not ideal, and you could NOT get past people. I got passed by at least 2 girls in my AG that made me mad. Not mad at them, but mad that i hadnt done any speedwork. Mad that i was sick after STX, mad that i decided to race an early Half. Mad at anything. I wasnt actually mad that it was pissing rain, which is funny. At the end of the run i knew i had run as best i could on no training for speed at all. And you know what? I ran the same time as last year.
This is not a PR course, trust me, twisty, turny and hilly. And Mad has been my theme as of late.

T1: Fast and fine I was out of there.

Bike: This is where my legs said "WHAT ARE YOU doing?" You bike THEN RUN/ not Run then bike. Yup. 3 miles of OUCHIE followed, but i repassed one girl and got out of sight. And actually after that I just decided to shut up and race. I took a gel I drank my EFS and i tried to see as the rain just made my face a combination of snot and spit and rain. Lovely. I hope i see a photo. Unlike STX I felt great, i did slow at corners a bit bc of the rain but i was confident and i rode hard even into alot of headwind. I did notice that my disc has a 12-23 and i have been racing hilly courses with a 12-27. Ouch. I would have loved to ride another loop. When you turn 46 you can feel it takes 17 miles to warm up too.

T2: Suzy's bike had drifted ( windy) with a disc into my area and so i could not for the life of me get my bars past her's! That cost me more time than i wanted. But i eventually got in and out of T2 and let the run begin.

Run 2: Passed the guys i came in with and then somehow led about 15 people past a turn and went to a sidewalk and a street that i knew were not on the course. Oops. Not sure how much time that added but i would bet 30 seconds. I knew there was a girl behind me and i just did NOT look back, but the course is back and forth in a few places so you can see how is tailing you. In and out of woods, so its quite deceptive, then you finish up a steep hill and take a lap around the track bfeore you finish. I did not quit Tri on this run, i just ran. Tried to keep my form and ran. I did a quick peek on the track and saw no women so i just ran hard into the finish. and you know what? my 2nd run was faster than last year. So out of shape "blahblah i have done no speed work" was just self talk that was not helpful.

So it goes. Rich raced too, he did awesome. and he finished with a huge smile as i yelled at him on his track lap " COME ON, WE ARE STREAKING THE QUAD..." get moving. I am not sure anyone else got it, but he did.

We froze, waited for awards, I won my AG, I Didnt win all the cool schwag but it was nice to hang out and shiver with my friends. Caribou was next and then home for a warm epsom salts bath.
The biggest thing about this race that made me happy and proud wasnt that i didnt win top masters, it wasnt that i won my AG, and it wasnt that i ran faster than my negative self thought. It was at each corner when we turned the volunteers said "Nice Smile." It just made me really appreciate during the ride ( ahem, after run 1 I was not feeling it) how lucky I Was to be out there with Rich.

I think i question things alot more now. I seem to sometimes be taking Rich's journey harder than he is. He said that is bc he knows how he feels and I dont. So I am working on that, trying to let go, but i cant tell you how hard it is to not "Go there."

Next up is Kansas 70.3. 99% sure i am doing that. If not BSLT. But the thought of an airplane right now does not appeal to me. A few things to overcome before kansas but hopefully it will all work out.

Thanks for reading. And for your always lovely comments and prayers.

Abs

There are some weird spacing issues here and i am not sure why, so sorry about that.


I am not sure what made me want to write a short post about Ab's. I mean this in a functional way.While we all WANT to have Ab's like this : 

And yes I picked a great triathlete named Hillary Biscay instead of a souped up carb depleted body builder, but 
We all want to be able to show our midsections, even if you live in MN and your midrif is pale as a baby's
bottom. I call it my "cancer free zone!"  But what Ab's really matter the most??? If you had to grade which AB's 
you really need to be ON, and those that are just for SHOW, well here is my thought on that:




1) Transversus Adbominus. Pretty much the gate keeper to keeping your pelvis neutral. IF your pelvis isnt 


Stable well your legs and your hips are gonna be doing the jig to keep from overworking. Hamstring issues?


What is your TA Doing while you run? If you have no idea what i am talking about, then you need to figure that 


out. Do you have a little Buddha poking out? Then your TA is not participating today. Even on the bike....


IS your tummy tight And is your belly button pulled into your spine??? Keeping your tuck in Aero can be hard, 


but keep thinking about that while you are trying to hit your insanely high power numbers.





















This picture above shows how the TA cannot be seen when you are walking around after the race. The TA is 




hidden under that 6 pack we all think we want. 










And yes The RA is a great strength muscle it really does contribute to your overall core strength but i would not




put all your money on it in Vegas. 




2)Obliques, esp the internal obliques. Again think about pelvic control and controling the pelvic girdle. 





Look at the pic below. What happens when the IO is weak and elongated? Your pelvis drops forward into anterior 




tilt and your rib cage gets pulled down with it. Along with your rib cage your shoudlers now have a nice tug 




anteriorly contributing to the impingement you have from swimming 3-4000yds / 3-4x week. 




I rate the IO right up there with the TA. 









Ok my goal with this isnt to make you not want a great set of Ab's, or a 6 pack but to remember the most


important muscles for you to swim bike run and remain injury free are the ones that we cant see, for the most


part. Triathlon is surely and image sport. It's a lovely sport, fast bikes, fast people, well sculpted athletes. 




Dont get caught up on comparing yourself to everyone else's looks, bc I know as well as you do, that there are 


more than enough terrific athlete's that dont LOOK like they will be fast! 


Train safely.

More images from St Croix

I had a few more pictures to share from STX and our time there. Nonrace pics that show the pace of the island. I have had a few days to think about the race. I would love to go back if i could avoid the 12 hour airport days and find a bit more direct way to get there. I would love to ride that course again, this time with less fear. Its not an easy trip nor is it a cheap one ( tho really? our airfare was about what we paid for Tucson, just sayin) so i know how lucky i am to have gone this year. 

This was as good as it got in the days up to the race. You can actually see some sky that isnt rain and grey here. But yes, it rained/poured right after i took this!This is a view of the swim course. Loved it. Having swum once in my wetsuit since being home i cant tell you how much i would rather swim without a wetsuit. My shoulders DO NOT like my wetsuit. I am too tall for my suit andwell, think Wedgie. But it pulls on my shoulders making things a bit messed up.

This is the Alley Galley. It was so wet out we just went inside but in theory you go order your drink at the take out window. They had the best banana bread there!

Right as i finished Rich snapped this. I was a bit too sassy wasnt I. Show's i didnt really give it 150% on that run. Just 100% which mentally was all I had that day. 

 Devon is from Canada. I gave him a free ride at one of the practice swims and he thanked me and we started talking. One of those crazy dudes who does IM with his longest run of 13 miles. Good for you Dev! Wow.
Notice the mudfields around us. You may not know it but we are sinking in pretty good.
I should have taken Gretta's picture but she was too dirty and too embarassed of her stink.
I respected her since she had taken me thru knee deep water and had kept me upright.

 As it poured the next morning we hung out at a coffee shop. I found some wine with my name on it. Casa Julia.

 Finally the cloulds parted on our last day. Rich is out looking for buried treasure at Block Island.

 Here he is sporting the latest fashions. They made us wear that life vest bc i guess other tourists get tired and they rest on the coral. ouch.
I am afraid of the coral. I am always thinking i will kick it or it will bite me.

Here I am in glasses that are too big for my puny face.

 Rich looking relaxed and happy. Made me want to go back to ST Johns. We got out on the water from STX and seriously there was a big cloud over the island. Not so out at Buck Island or at the BVI or St Johns. hmm.....

 And here we are at home. Tmmrw I have my first real Open Water swim. The buoys and docks arent out so i dont think we will do a full loop ( 2 miles) but i do have at least one person coming to swim with me, but thistime of year its freaky out there. It's a big enough lake i dont think i want to go too far from shore. But soon. Soon no wetsuit!

So what is next? Our team has a duathlon this weekend. I feel 150% better than i did this weekend so i plan to race it, if i dont feel great I will drop out. But i hope not! and Then either Kansas 70.3 or BSLT 70.3. I am leaning towards the race that includes a homestay, driving there, fun people and no plane rides thru Lubbock. :)

The Beast was the least of my worries

Finally home, sweet home. While in theory a trip to St. Croix was nice, it is good to be home where i have my own bed and no rain. And no roosters, and no midnight screaming. The place we stayed was A+ for convenience. But D- for most everything else.

I dont think i have it in me to really do a true Race Report but I will try to give you some goods and bads about the race.

Swim +++
Felt fine, not much fatigue and other than freezing, yes i said FREEZING, as the last wave we got to sit wet in the wind and rain while all the other waves went off....I felt good.

Warmed up with Lance. He popped up right next to me after swimming to the Cay and i was like a dear in headlights.

Didnt drink salt water


Swim ----
Got nailed, women cut your nails and if you want to swim faster than me, start in front of me, dont CLAW your way over me. Some good blood marks on my arms.

Last wave, need i say more.

Bike +++
Should start with the negatives bc the only real positive of the ride was i did not crash. But to keep this in order, the other good thing about the bike was the climbs. I did awesome on those and I would go up the BEAST 10x before i would descend in rain and grit like we had.

Fuel was right on.

Bike ---
After the 1st spin out on the very first descent about 6 miles in I knew my "ALERT"button was firing. I had less pressure in my tires bc it was so wet but it didnt seem to help. I nearly stopped to try to take  more air out but i had deep rims and knew that could present even more of a problem if i deflated too much. So i vowed to just be careful. Sigh...That pretty much meant any descent that had any curves( hello the entire course) I was a pansy 10 mph desecnder playing/feathering my brakes.

I got passed alot, and I just let it go. I let the race go during the bike. For that mental hiccup I am pretty upset, but at the same time I had many thoughts of "Would i rather crash or flat?" and i honestly thought i was going to crash. Another time turning from the Left  you ride on the Left over there, to the Right lane I spun into the pros coming at me. The Moto guy was pretty impressed as i spun out R ( rear wheel) then left, the right, and got myself back to the Right side of the road. I think Karen Smyers was thinking "what the heck?" But really not how i saw this ride going.



Transitions in general:
Did fine. I was great in T1, then T2 I was traumatized and it was raining and my feet were all muddy and my shoes and socks were wet and...well I think i spent about 5 minutes just in shock. Rich told me to get out, so i did.

Run+++
No it wasnt sunny but it was still hot and humid so i kept to my salt and hydration/nutrition plan.
I did not go out too fast and i negative split the run.
I lost my fire, I just wanted to run and not blow up and i did just that but i didnt really feel like i was racing.
I loved running thru the golf courses and the resort ( see pic) it was soft and well...wet but the bugs were really bad@ I think i took a few out of my eyes the next day even. Hilly but a nice change from the roads.


Run ----
as i said above, didnt really feel the fire in my belly. Not sure why. I just didnt.
I was pretty content with how i was going I knew i was not in contention for a kona slot and so i do think i just settled in. why blow up? I did get passed in the last 300 yards by a woman that came out of nowhere. I have video of that stretch and unless she cut a corner or was in a porta john i did not see her.

So it goes.

So the Beast? Yes do it if you can. I would say the worst part of this trip for me was the travel. I spent two FULL days getting to and from. And the weather was just awful. I am glad i went but i am not sure i would go back. To make matters just that much better I came home with a sore throat ( actually had it since saturday night but tried to ignore it) and Pink Eye. I have been to the minute clinic ( what a joke) amd my own MD and now i sit on the couch wishing i could feel 100% again. I didnt have Strep ( or so they say, it could have been since this was in full force sunday-Wed before i even go tested) but the Pink Eye is weird. ?? who knows. And icing my achilles. A bit of a hilly area out there you know.

Wish i could be all dapper about the race, but for me it was not my dream race or my dream venue. The course was lovely actually and maybe someday i will go back to race it when its dry. and hotter!

Quick St. Croix update

I'm using my dads iPad so excuse my inadequate skills! But we are alive and well but WET! I ve not seen this much ever, since my arrival I've seen the sun 0 times and blue sky 1x. So other than this blowing what we planned to be a post race water sports vacation we are laughing at the amount of HBO being watched and books being read. Feels like what we've done all winter!! A formal race report will follow but we have no WiFi at our ghetto hotel. We do have roosters and domestic abuse screams so who needs wifi! I'm pleased as heck with the day bc I stayed upright. Going up the Beast was harder than anything on a wet road but I only had one pedal stroke that had me thinking I'd walk. And spinning out into oncoming traffic was all I needed to be a pansy and ride a lot slower bc I started wishing I'd flat before I crashed. Neither happened luckily. IM said there were no serious crashes but Rich counted at least 3 ambulances and 10 to the hospital. I guess nobody died so its a safe race! Just user error I'm sure. I swam well. Rode smart and looked forward to hills bc I couldn't crash going up, ran smart and know I'm lucky it wasn't sunny. You can't simulate this heat and humidity In MN or AZ. And best of all I felt like I could have kept going in any of the three disciplines. So good IM training. Nailed the nutrition and salts. Total relief after over salting at Madison. While I enjoyed the race Im not sure id return to race. The Islanders are gracious and so supportive it's hard to not want to come race again. They make you feel like Lance! But the Beast is off the bucket list so may just leave this as a great early season race! More race report to come. You know the one where I tell you just what Lance really looks like in his speed suit.

April

I seem to know every year that April is a tease of a month. One day its 70 the next its snowing and barely hits 40. I'm in a bit of a funk right now. Rich and I talked last night and he is in a funk ( for different reasons) and we decided that it will pass and we have to make the best of this time of year. I will say I am so dang sick of running and coming home and 5 minutes later being in a cold shiver. I am so looking fwd to wanting a cold beverage after a run or ride, be it recovery or not, not just a hot coffee or tea.

Yes. You all feel so sorry for me bc I will be sweating in about a week i know. The other thing that has my undies in a bundle is that last week ( in the cold) I must have had quite a clench going while running in my jaw bc I bit into something chewy and my jaw locked. Its actually been over a week now and I still have jaw pain. Since i live with "someone who happens to have some knowledge on the subject" ( that is what he told me when i was eating nuts and he told me not to, and yes, he was right....Each morning i think i am done with ( INSERT SOFT FOOD DIET) kefir, yogurt, bananas, oatmeal...and that i am ready to take on chewy goodness of a toasted bagel and some mixed nuts. Not together. But each day i have been solidly SLAPPED back into the depression that comes from not being able to bite into an apple. Last night i was able to gnaw thru a buffalo burger and didnt dare try the bun, too much chewing.
I have been told by my expert that i need to let it rest. No licorice, no gum. And i will admit there are days when i think that dinner may just be a DQ milkshake. So much for a taper diet.

Other than that my taper for the race in St Croix has been fine. I am bored. I know by now that the sitting around and all that is worth it but when Rich goes out last night ( when it was 70) to ride for a few hours, i was pretty close to going with him. But i sat on my hands and did...laundry. Fun that Lance will be there, hope its not a crazy circus because of that, and that the race of 600 doesnt become the race of 1000 just so everyone can say " I raced with Lance." But I dont care, bc if you are a Lance Hater and you also dont believe in Santa Claus, stop reading.

We love Lance. You can say he cheated and he is a doper and he deserves nothing, and yes, there is alot of smoke around him. But he was never convicted, so let it go. Look at all the stuff he HAS done for LiveStrong and look at what he is doing for the sport of Triathlon. He's 40. Trust me he is feeling this so cut him some slack and wish him some luck. Maybe we have a different perspective with Cancer these days, but you know if Rich can say " Lance did this..." and believe that he can also, well why not believe?

I also have a birthday monday. I was going to be all hardcore and not have a glass of wine ( I have had pretty much nothing to drink since camp) ha, that made it sound like we drank alot at camp, we didnt! And not much in the dessert area, but with the latest jaw issues i may be gnawing on a cupcake and eating a milkshake for my birthday dinner. I know some of you are all diligent and restrictive pre race, but I have gotten in this mindset that when i hit 46, then 47, thn 48 etc...I really cant say that having a few graham crackers and drinking a glass of wine is what is going to give me a Kona qualifying slot.
I just dont believe that is what is going to make or break my race. I think my head is going to make or break my race and whoever else shows up. So birthday treats wont be skipped just bc its race week.

Ok gotta go work a bit, then do some laundry. Have a good safe training week. Stay warm.

Just checking in and a few thoughts on the first race of the season!

Greetings from 73 degrees and a tornado watch, to....
snow and wind and cold and 35 degrees. Gotta love spring in MN:) I am super thankful i got in some outdoor runs and rides this weekend bc this week looks like a stinker. Not super weather for training for a race in the Virgin Islands, but what can ya do about it? Coach told me you cant acclimate to heat more than 3 weeks out, so i guess now i can start turning up the heat in the basement if its 35 outside!

Lets see, last week was nuts, crazy busy with work and workouts and just life. I have one more week of JHC induced focus before i get to start to slow down a bit. ( i think, i am not sure, but maybe if i write this out she will let me rest a bit next week!) I feel good! I do think i am ready for this race and I do think that this is the hardest i have worked before a Half IM, ever. So let the games begin. I can only do what i can do, and so if some other women show up who are equally primed, well, lets have at it. I am really excited for the run. I think, I could be wrong, that the run will be a make it or break it deal. And if I am to kill that bike in St. Croix i think i will NOT kill the run. Again, just guessing but it seems like a bike course, like Madison, that you need to underride if you have any hopes of a semi-fast run.

Rich is racing the sprint so we have his bike all reserved ( we are renting) and he has been in the pool a few times:)

On the non training front we have had lots of good times for Easter, and last week we had a really nice night out with Rich's son and his wife and children. Adelaide turned 1 Yo. Too much fun:) We also got out with some friends for a nice dinner at an Italian place ( fancy!) that is right near us but we had never been there. I dont do alot of pasta, i just dont care for it. But what we had there was delicious. Of course I am sure i cant reproduce it at home, so we can just go back there.

Other than that we have chemo this week, and what appears to be some indoor rides.
Have a good week everyone, good luck to those of you going to NOLA! Have fun!

Green Valley -Tucson JHC camp 2012

Well I have put off this blog long enough. Not on purpose, its just I sorta lost the blog Mo-Jo this winter. It felt like it was C cubed. Cancer. Chemo. Confused.  ( me) But after this nice trip i really feel alot more clear and alot better about the C x 3. Now i feel a bit more like my life is C x 2, of C squared. I dont feel as confused. And since i cant control the other C's that is a good place to be. More on that later but for now some thoughts on Arizona!

Rich and i left thursday night LATE LATE LATE after he got unhooked from his 2 day chemo drink. we got in quite late Mtn time, making friday seem like a weird and crazy day. We put bikes together, rode VERY Slowly, and just sorta got our legs back. Bed time at 8 pm Mtn Time was 10 pm CST and i tried so hard to stay on this time since in a week i knew Ms. Daisy would have us up at 5 bells. No such luck. I quickly got into the 10 pm bedtimes, and 7 -7:30 am awakenings. Which was great bc we wanted it to warm up to ride, less arm warmers and jackets that way.

As much as i LOVE being up in Tucson, Green Valley reallly affords you many more ride options with much less traffic and much better scenary. I know i am chatting a bit about places you have no idea about, but for those of you that love Tucson to ride, think about dropping down south, parking in Green Valley and finding some other places to ride besides Lemmon and Gates Pass. I still have not done Kitt Peak, that is a must do, and I have heard from Willie of Willie's World of Cycling that riding in Patagonia is a must do as well.

That being said we did ride alot but not a ton of distance. My goal for the week before camp was to prime the pump but not run her dry. I think i did a good job of that. The highlight was riding to Aravaca, where we always see alot of Border Patrol and often some illegals looking hot and tired. The road heads south for about 23 miles with a gradual climb ( 2-4% grades) then you stop at the coffee shop and drink and eat some cakey muffin that you always regret, then you get to sail on home. It's a really fun ride to WORK some WORK into and i did just that. All in all that day was about 65 miles. The T run i had after was a bust tho, which left my spirits low. I had been struggling with a cranky quad ever since it cramped in that half mary a few weeks ago. I was babying it alot but it would NOT LET go. Finally after Richs daughter Emily came, it let up bc she is the BEST massage therapist there is. Seriously. That does not come easily from me. I have plenty of people that want to act like a manual GRID and pound that quad out, but only Emily and my PT have been able to get in there and actually open it up, not just tenderize it. Remember that people, good massages arent about bruising and hurting ...and no bruising isnt toxins being removed. It's blood.

So after Emily had her time with me i was golden. I kid you knot not. ha.

I didnt do much swimming in Green Valley just a few recovery 1200's, and that was fine. I dont go to Tucson to swim. It was hot in the pool and it smelled like perfume, much like my Y at home.

We grilled, ate well, hung out with my mother in law and slept. Perfect for the pre-camp jitters.

CAMP!!! I didnt take tons of photo's. I was on my 4th camp ( Yes, JH forgot to mention that i have been at all 4 camps as well as KO) but I have to say i really enjoyed this camp as much as the first. Pink socks were still a hot item this camp as much as 4 yrs ago, thanks to Recovery sox!


ME and MB giving the camera girl ( Jenny) some attitude.


It isnt about the individuals as much as how we all interact and this camp, much like the first was a dynamic that had EVERYONE genuinely pulling for everyone else. It was pretty cool, and fun to be a part of it. Each morning we would say "IF we all arrive at the same time, then she cant get mad if we are late." ha!
We were never late, dont worry:)


Here are my off the cuff thoughts:
Lemmon. doesnt get any easier. but with a 25 this year as opposed to a 23, it sure felt easier:)
The cookie at the top is SO WORTH IT, but sometime i need to learn how to stop a few bites earlier so i dont hurl on the descent. Tho i was well fueled for a great T run with Jmac and my quad was good!
Emily worked it again that day and it was good!!

Madera Canyon! OMG i get giddy thinking about this ride. We rode it earlier in the week and i kept saying to Rich " are you sure you want to ride this?" OF course i was dying and i had all sorts of "I can do this with camp later, or if i do this now if i cant at camp i can say i already did it!" but for me it was good to do it, since i had an idea of where landmarks are. This is the first ride i ever did when i came to Green Valley 5 years ago with Rich. I got off the plane, we rode this and seriously i dont remember it being as hard as it is today. Maybe it got steeper! Of course the ride from GV is 40 miles, you dont have to ride down from Tri Sports:) I just know riding with Glen up into the Canyon kept me moving and then when he "fast twitched" it up the last mile i knew i had to keep on plugging away. Rich was at the final turn and gave the women a little TDF push which was much appreciated. Considering Antonio rode the Tri Sports van/held the mirror all the way up the last section i think we all get awards for Self motoring up! T run after this was hot but so good. Again i ran with Jmac and loved getting to know her.
I kept on a bit longer bc i know St Croix is going to be hot and a noon sun is needed to get some heat acclimation if even for 3-4 miles.


Running in Sabino is ok. to be honest I love to hike trails like that. Not run em so much. My lower legs just dont do as well. As much as i did feel happy to get to that top, i did roll my ankle a few times and have paid for that this week with some sore Peroneal tendons. They are coming around, i have my way with them and my little tricks but they hurt. So next year i need to either wear some tighter shoes or run the road. Running the other trails were better but another roll and a Cactus into my shoe, thru my sock and my Left foot and lower leg have been begging thisweek.

Swims! I love swimming outdoors. I really love swimming in general and i just get sad when i realize i wil have about 3 mos, at most of outdoor pool swims here in MN. That is just plain wrong. I also realize that i do love circle swimming with fast people. I usually swim side by side in our pools here, some of that is bc there is often a pace difference, but i want to try to get my lap mates to circle more. ITs fun and i loved being in a lane with Stacey and Caroline. We had a rash of foot cramping going on in my lane, ok maybe it was just me with stuck toes, but ouch. I got out of some butterfly bc of that:)

It was a great camp and i cant say enough about Jen and Jerome. Best of all was Jerome pacing me up Lemmon on the 2nd TT. I really wanted to do 3 TT's but i am getting smarter in my old age. The first one was good. ( remember i am on my Road bike so i am pretty quad dominant) and at the top i told JH that i was going to Blow a GASKET in the 2nd one then decide about a 3rd. Jerome started with me and said " I am riding with you." GULP. no sandbagging now. So off we went. When he dropped behind me at about mile 3 and said he was tired I thought  " I have you now my pretty.!" hahaha, he had really gone fast in his first and i am pretty sure he was dreaming of his recovery beer, but he sure pushed me to the end of that TT and i finished 2 minutes faster than the 1st. Game over. I didnt want Phil Liggit to show up and say " the Rubber band snapped " so i smiled and made my way back down. The wind had picked up that day so those 5 miles down were sketchy. I was getting blown all over and had a hard time powering down to keep my wheels safe. So that was another reason i decided i didnt want to go back up. We still had one more day of camp, and i wanted to at least be mentally ready!

So there you have it.

And as for the C's, well we came home to Chemo on WED, fresh off the plane and a CT Scan yesterday. The Lung tumors remain but they are smaller and the tumor in the L4 vertebrae appears to be gone. So its as good as we can hope for now. The protocol appears to be working and we are thankful for the time we are getting to play on and off our bikes. Rich dreamed of riding up Lemmon last fall when he was diagnosed, and he not only did that but he did Madera twice:)
This pic is from a few years ago but its still applies! My neck looks way too skinny there.



As for my C, confusion, I realized after camp that i love to do this stuff. I dont love it in my basement in the winter. But I love riding. I love running. I love swimming. I love doing this stuff with great people that i met and know from Camp. And the racing? Yes I have a race soon. That makes me sick to my stomach. But really, as Marit say, that is icing on the cake. I do this stuff for the day to day lifestyle and how it makes me feel and how i feel i can help and affect others in my life. The races? Id be lying if i didnt say I want to do my best at each race and I want to win! But at the end of the day, I realized this trip that even if i had no race in a month, I would have done that camp just as i had! Smiling and doing the best i can.

Thanks for reading my long blog:)

It's been a long few weeks

Just a check in to let you know i am alive. Despite people thinking if you dont blog you must be injured or otherwise not interested in training, this isnt the case. Lately I have just been busy busy busy and barely even getting my normal day to day stuff done, much less blogging.

The past few weeks have been tough, and i mean Life Tough, not " OMG i had to do a track workout and i nearly died" tough. That sorta tough i can do. Life tough is harder. From my hand not fully wanting to be normal, to going to Mayo for a day with my sister ( she is ok), to Chemo and some stuff with Rich it has had me not taking very good care of myself. It's not like i am trying to NOT take care of myself, it just sorta happens that way. Usually it culminates in something like me pulling what i am calling a BETH SHUTT.
I walked into our lower basement closet ( its under the stairs, so you know where this is going) and there is no light. Why we store our wheel bags in there, in the dark is unknown to me. So WHAM i walk into the stair and hit a nail with my forehead. But I am very determined to find some skewers. I feel the blood but i decide not to look in the mirror for fear of freaking out. Rich tells me to wash it, I have blood all over my forehead. I was proud i didnt start crying and melt down. But i did look like a dork at the pool today with my snoopy bandaid, actually i switched it out for a clear water proof one. It's not deep just looks like i poked my head:)

Then i was looking for a pedal wrench that Rich needs and i had a few close calls with cabinets, etc and knew it was time to stop before i really did need stitches. This ends a long week.

My hand has 1-2 stitches that are not dissolving. So i guess your body tries to get them out. So i have a hard time resting on the hoods when riding my road bike. I have a little set up i can use with a corn donut but it still hurts when i hit bumps and my hand cramps bc I have to hold it funny. But i cant complain, I am outside riding. No complaints just wish it wouldnt hurt!

Spending a full day at Mayo was good, we got some answers for my sister, and i felt like the A++ tourguide knowing all the buildings, where to park, where to get Jimmy John's and where all the best bathrooms are. But at the same time it really freaked me out. It brought back some really BAD ( for lack of a better negative vibe term) memories and as much as i love that place for medical care Its sad bc everyone there for the most part is there for something serious. When you think about it, that makes it touching and scarey to be there again.

Then i ran a race this weekend. I had not felt great all week, just tired, and didnt feel recovered and not sleeping great. I have gotten to the point where i am looking for my "nibble" of ambien at night. I dont like taking that, but even 1/4 of a 10 mg pill helps. We had a work dinner friday night that was for Rich and I had to go. IT was not what i would have eaten before a half mary and it was alot of "blahlblahblah" I would not have normally done the night before a race either. I had no wine. And after the race saturday i had a split second of thinking I must have needed wine. Then when i nearly passed out in my sisters kitchen I realized that was not what i needed the night before. I needed salt.

IT as hot and humid. And the course was deceptively challenging with a mostly downhill out with a tailwind and a mostly uphill back with a headwind. I Ran that entire thing in Zone 4. Yup. Maybe that will get me out of some interval work to come, but honestly that was how hard i was working to keep a 7:15-7:20 pace. And i knew around mile 4 i was not going to be able to do that. I eased it back a bit and at the turn around the hills hit and the wind hit and it was a total sufferfest. My toes cramped around mile 8, my quad starting to talk to me around mile 8 too. The only other time i have had toe cramps, you know, the one's that wake you up at night when they get STUCK? those. Was in Kansas last year and as i ran and tried to not blowup, I had the " LIGHT BULB" go off.

Guess who needs salt? Me! Guess who had no clue she would need salt in March at an 8 am race? ME!
I had plenty of Kcals on board, just not enough Na+ so i shot a powergel ( brought it just in case as i had a hand held flask i knew i would ditch) and i think that Powergel and its CRAMP busting powers got me over the finish much slower than the way out, but still within 3 minutes of my flat and cool race in April in Naples FLA. Hard to swallow that run as i felt much better trained than i ran, but i also felt like those last 4 miles were like the IM. So guess i did what i could. As I left the race site there were at least 2 ambulances so i know i didnt hurt myself. Walked to my sisters about a mile away then got sorta woozy so she gave me some gatorade. I had given my beer coupons away:)

As much as that Half was hard and I kept telling myself to be Brave, to not giveup even tho i felt like my legs were LEAD, it will serve me i know. It wasnt THAT hot but the humidity was up and 70's and humid is a change from 40-50 even. It tells me what i need to work on with the nutrition for my upcoming hot races, and i am determined to give the Liquid shot one more try bc it just sits better in my stomach than the powergels, But it will mean some playing around with Salt Stick. Scarey to think i dont have this down yet. and it is EARLY I know we arent acclimated!

We head west thursday, after rich gets unplugged from chemo. I really need a vacation. A vacation to take care or me, to do what i want to do, and not what everyone else needs. I need a vacation to just decompress, not worry, to not worry about whether my mother in law knows where we are every minute, and after a week of that I get to go play with my JHC pals. I cant wait.

Weekend Update

And not nearly as fun as you get on SNL, but here goes:
In no particular order or anything, excuse the randomness at times.
-I can tell I am running more bc my toes are getting all beat up again. Toenails are starting to get ready for the summer months i guess.

-Saw Hugo last night, so fun. see it. I loved it. Ate a buffalo burger too, that was good.

-I am not Catholic and while I grew up Presbyterian, I never really did anything for Lent. Other than celebrate Easter:) But Rich is a strong Catholic and when i met him he had given up dessert, alcohol, and a few other things but I was totally confused by all this "Lets deprive ourselves," stuff. So its fun now that he has evolved and maybe i have too, to try to include less deprivation and more "what can i do to give back or share more of me," in honor of God. So less about the giving up and more about the giving back.
I have my theory on the giving up stuff, I think people forget why they are giving things up, its not about you being strong and being better bc of it, its about God, but anyways.
So.. I made a few notes, bc I am more accountable that way and here is how i am doing:

1) Practice Centering Prayer 20 min 1x day ....scorecard says 100%
2) No Wine during the week, just drink more water and Kombucha! ...scorecard 100%
3) Worry less....scorecard...this is hard to grade but i would give myself a subjective B+ or 88%
4) Love more, again hard to grade but that includes loving myself and caring for myself so again B+
5) Sorry but this one is a deprivation. I dont need em i dont think they are that great, but NO Girl Scout cookies! Ugh. 100%

So no i am not perfect and I still eat dessert but not GSC. And you know the less you eat that stuff the more dont want to eat that. Doesnt mean i didnt buy 2 get one free Salted Nut Roll, now you are talking.
And Dark Chocolate? I can do that :) so all is not lost and i am not crazy!

As for the Centering Prayer or Contemplative Prayer its all a part of me trying to take some time for me. I realized with the help of my acupuncurist that i am worrying alot, and i am projecting into the future too much and I let things spiral. I think with Rich its been really hard for me to even realize i am doing this. But little things set me off. And so at the end of the day I try to re-gather all that I have given to everyone else in my life, from my job in a health care setting, to my nurturing skills for my family, to even just not driving like a nutcase aggressive driver. :) haha, kidding. But really I need to get a grip and I am workinghard to not think so much and not worry so much. This pretty much started when i had the hand surgery.

-Hand update:) YAY hand is good . I know you want a picture of a random looking scar, but not today. It still hurts like the dickens if i grab sometthing  or someone grabs my hand. Gripping the bike isnt so fun either but at least its healing and it wont rip apart descending Lemmon. ( ohjoy) but i think its going to hurt for a bit. Lotsa nerves in there.

But i think that, plus Chemo. and Rich and some family stress andand then i just had one thing after the next. REally want to know?
Random high heel wedding led to quad or ??? strain. couldnt walk for a few days.

Ran in the snow and ice =random peroneal or maybe Exernsor Digitorum Longus shinsplints( side of your shin) issue, didnt run for a few days. hurt to walk even.

Left shoulder tension=LATS ARE SO TIGHT I AM GOING TO DIE. Serratus too. Using my lats is good, but heck. and yes when i had that surgery i babied that arm...time to get back to the Scap strength.
When i dont do strength my humeral head ( shoulder bone) sits forward, and it gives me anteior shoulder pain. Answer: my chiro gently puts it back and viola. This is all thanks to instability in my Lft shouder when i fell off my bike way before i knew all of you:) I got my wheel stuck in the light rail tracks. Popped it out like a champ, but then went airborne and fell on my shoulder, ouch.

Took a day off, did my strength, did some weird rotation that made a facet get irriated. Bothersome but still not good. Facet ----wings off your vertebrae that your paraspinals and some of the tiny spinal roators attach too.

So I sure hope I made it thru this rough patch, Nothing kept me down for more than a few days and the rational Julia knows all this stuff is just time, nothing to sweat and it is niggles from stress ( not training stress). I didnt really miss much working out, maybe a day, and that is truly bc I have a coach who i am in touch with daily ( sorry Jen) with stuff like this and she works with me to ( talk me off the ledge) to rearrange and refocus. I am not a pro, i say that but sometimes i think i forget that means its ok to miss a swim. ( dont worry Stine i wont tell Jen you told me i could miss a swim)

 The big picture is months off although i did find myself in the basement riding the IM St. Croix course saturday wiht the heat cranked thinking WHAT HAVE I DONE?? The beast is not the bad part, its the rest of the course that killled me. If you have done Dairyland Dare, well that is what the St Croix Course is like.

Ok i think i have babbled enough for you to know that I am here, I am alive, and if you are having a late FEB that has made you cry, well then joine the team. but the pity party is over and the new outlook is feeling good. Lots of work done this weekend and hopefully a 10 mile race next weekend.

Most importantly Rich is nearly 6 mos thru his treatment/chemo. For those of you who asked or wonder, we dont know how long he is doing chemo. It's been a rough thing to hear, when everyone else is saying they have one more or are almost done. We know for sure its another 6 mos, then after that I think everything depends on CT scans. The fear is if they stop it will come back. Such is metastatic cancer.
He remains totally upbeat and stronger than I am wth this stuff. I m also starting to cut back the time i go down to Chemo with him. It's like race spectating. It's his thing and the spectating can be tough and tiring:) He had hoped to get off the Coumadin but friday he showed me his arm and he has the Incredible Hulk arm back again so i suspect we are headed for another ultrasound next week:(

Keep on praying or doing whatever you do!! Thanks for reading, sorry i cant give you a coffee for all your time!

One week later...

And I never thought i was a fast healer, but viola, pretty amazing the body isnt it?
Nothing much to report here today, just show and tell:

I did a nice 4000yd little swim and this is how it looked after. I was a bit paranoid, but Rich said it was fine, and we put a steri strip on it just to be sure. I see the MD tmmrw, so he can be all happy about his work and hopefully tell me it was nothing bc who gets melanoma subcutaneously under their palmar skin? ( I was going to say aponeurosis, but i know Kari doenst like medical terms)
Other than that the weekend was really stressful. I guess i undersestimated how much this would take out of me mentally, i was devastated to miss Valentine's day ( kidding) and my tri week was a rest week which was good, but i think i needed another rest week again bc sunday i woke up and could not walk. I really could NOT put weight on my left leg.
I attribute this to:
Heels at a wedding the night before, not walking normally in a full stride
A dumb massage where i let her dig into my hip flexors a bit too  much after a 1:30 hour trainer ride
The ride wasnt over the top, but it had some efforts in it, but gee whiz. really?

I think it is/was  my Sartorius ( longest mm in the body) but it was like all the sudden 2 days later it was gone.  I did have someone "Clear" my hip, and i was negative for anything in the joint and i could not reproduce the pain at all. The worst was that i could not for the life of me get off the toilet. Funny I know. my leg buckled. I am still a bit sore in the groin region but i ran today and so far so good.It seems like sleeping and the AM is the worst. Sounds like I am getting old, doesnt it? Well too old for heels, they went into the back of the closet never to be seen again.