Just checking in and a few thoughts on the first race of the season!

Greetings from 73 degrees and a tornado watch, to....
snow and wind and cold and 35 degrees. Gotta love spring in MN:) I am super thankful i got in some outdoor runs and rides this weekend bc this week looks like a stinker. Not super weather for training for a race in the Virgin Islands, but what can ya do about it? Coach told me you cant acclimate to heat more than 3 weeks out, so i guess now i can start turning up the heat in the basement if its 35 outside!

Lets see, last week was nuts, crazy busy with work and workouts and just life. I have one more week of JHC induced focus before i get to start to slow down a bit. ( i think, i am not sure, but maybe if i write this out she will let me rest a bit next week!) I feel good! I do think i am ready for this race and I do think that this is the hardest i have worked before a Half IM, ever. So let the games begin. I can only do what i can do, and so if some other women show up who are equally primed, well, lets have at it. I am really excited for the run. I think, I could be wrong, that the run will be a make it or break it deal. And if I am to kill that bike in St. Croix i think i will NOT kill the run. Again, just guessing but it seems like a bike course, like Madison, that you need to underride if you have any hopes of a semi-fast run.

Rich is racing the sprint so we have his bike all reserved ( we are renting) and he has been in the pool a few times:)

On the non training front we have had lots of good times for Easter, and last week we had a really nice night out with Rich's son and his wife and children. Adelaide turned 1 Yo. Too much fun:) We also got out with some friends for a nice dinner at an Italian place ( fancy!) that is right near us but we had never been there. I dont do alot of pasta, i just dont care for it. But what we had there was delicious. Of course I am sure i cant reproduce it at home, so we can just go back there.

Other than that we have chemo this week, and what appears to be some indoor rides.
Have a good week everyone, good luck to those of you going to NOLA! Have fun!

Happy Anniversary Rich!

Dear Rich,

There were times last fall that I never thought this day would come:

In Mid-September, after your routine colonoscopy( who am i joking, those arent just routine, I know) our lives took a different course. All the sudden we were seated in a surgeon's office, and we even had a full APR ( look it up) scheduled for the following week. A procedure that would change your life and your style of living forever. But we were told it was the safest and best way to be sure we caught all the cancer in your lower colon. The little tumor was placed just in the wrong place to resect it, margins and all, and this was the best bet.

I am so glad we found a friend in Dr. Pemberton, at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Despite shock... I never doubted that you would be ok. That is the truth. I had so much faith in the staff at Mayo, that I just knew that you would emerge 100% at some point, I just didnt know when. And as for lifestyle change, I knew you would make it work, WE would make it work. And we did.

I was glad to get you out of there so that your arm would eventually heal and the brusing and scar tissue from the coumadin shots bid would STOP! I think that may have been worse than anything!

When we decided to go ahead with the wedding on Nov 7, 2009 I was so excited. My parents, who were celebrating their 50th, were so excited. We now had THREE reasons to celebrate:

1) Our wedding

2) My mom and dad's 50th

3) Your successful surgery!

Lets do it. Lets call everyone, not send out invites ( not enough time), lets hope that we can find a place for the rehersal AND the reception dinner, and lets just not worry about who is coming. We know we are going to be there, and all the people that matter to us and if we run out of food, well...oh well. ( WE did!) We have cupcakes, that is all people want anyways:)

I have had the most love filled year as well, Rich. It is love not only from you, but from the friends that i now call my friends, and the family that I now call my family. The First Light group is not blood, but they are family, on or off the bike. The love and prayers we had from friends and family, and even people we dont know ( yes my blog friends, the one's you say " is that a virtual friend, or a real one?" hahaha)

First Light Family: ( named such bc they ride at insanely early hours, with insanely bright lights on their bikes)

And what worried you the most, I know, was our plans to honeymoon. We were not going to miss the honeymoon! NO WAY. When Dr. P said, go for it, I think we both melted into relaxation mode. How appropriate to send Dr. P proof that we were relaxing. Just happened to be on the BadKitty booze cruise to the BVI:) ha!

Painkillers? Yup, Doc, we got em.

I have never relaxed as much or had as much fun doing nothing, just being with you, ( and swimming around in the lovely water while you swam with sharks, ahem) and listening to the rain pound our "hut" and somehow drinking all the rum they gave us even tho i dont like rum. We will go back, and tho we met many couples celebrating their 20th or 40th anniversary, we vowed not to wait that long to go back. I will remind you of that:)

The first year of marriage has been a total touchdown! I am glad you agree:

Here's to the new season and ongoing love and fun. I love you Rich!

PS and I was so focused on US that i forgot to wish my parents, happy 51st wedding Anniversary! Wow, pretty amazing you two. Love you both!

Maple Grove Dare to Tri Olympic Race Report

What a weekend! Saturday was my first try at the olympic distance ( or as close as we may get to that distance!) and Sunday was my hubby's birthday! What a fun weekend! In usual form i will say i am going to keep the race report short, but that never seems to happen but i keep trying:)

Sometimes all the fun stuff is before and after the race but in this case there were a few "ruh-roh's" thrown in during the race, plus since this was uncharted territory for me / pacing / nutrition I need to talk a tiny bit about that.

Pre-race: The nerves were sorta there but i kept saying This is good BOUS practice. In some ways that doesnt help bc then i just bank those nerves and figure that Rich will never travel with me again when i am a loose cannon in a month in Orange County. So i figure I am like a fault system. Best to let off a few little quakes along the way so that there isnt a big 8.o Richter Scale blast come BOUS in October. And thinking of where that race is ( SoCal) I am not sure i like what i just wrote.

When i found out that CY was racing and a few other women that i have great respect for I knew that i had to stick to my plan of racing my race and not being concerned with what anyone else did out there. I did not read the pre-race predictions and i didnt really think too much about anything than my own plan and what time I had to get up ( 4am) etc..I did have a tiny bit of anxiety about the wind. I knew it was going to be windy but my research showed 8-12mph up until 10 am ( race started at 7:30am) so i thought i was ok. I would ride the 808 front and the rear disc. I just had to not be fearful and I knew i could do it.

Saturday: got up at 4am, we were fed and out the door by 4:45 and on our way. Rich was a saint and got up with me, parked and went to T in the dark ( with mosquitos nipping at our ankles) and waited for me to get all set up. He went back to his car to get his bike ( so he could bike the course and watch on the road) and i knew that i had my wheels and there was no turning back. But before the sun even rose it was windy. Hmm....ok well suck it up lightweight. I got ready to powerdown and to hold on tight.

Swim: We went off at 7:30 am. I have to say that i was quite impressed with the staffing and volunteers on the course. For a first year race they really did a great job. Things were well marked and in the water ( more on this soon) the canoes and kayaks were plenty.

Remember that wind? From the SOUTH. 5-4-3-2-1 we are off in a small elite wave so i didnt get hammered. We headed East for about .25 miles and then turned left in a counter clockwise loop INTO some rough water. Wow. We had a good .4 miles or so ( this could be off) into this face slapping water that I knew may be in my favor. The water temp was 74 so we were all in wetsuits and actually i was happy about that now, since it would have really been a struggle without one. I wont lie, it was hard. But i drew from my race in Galveston Bay in April where we had a 1.2 mile swim with swells worse than this so i just kept battling. I contemplated ducking under the swells/water to see if i could get out of the way but actually it was such a steady wind that there was not really a chance to do this. NOR would that have been smart obviously. I came in around the last turn buoy to SUN MASSIVE SUN in my eyes and thought.

Ok this will be fun. but i found the buoys and otehr than not being able to see the swim exit arches and swimming a bit to the inside i was pretty good. MY time was 24:xx and i was 2nd woman out ( Cy was WAY ahead with some dudes) Kortney came out right behind me and came into T1 right behind me.

Bike: I left my shoes in the bike even tho there was a little climb out of the park, it worked fine.

Other than the liner in my right shoe got bunched up ( wet feet?) and so i was coming up this hill with half a shoe liner sticking out and had to decide..stop or go? Go. pulled that bad boy out shoved it in my race top and off i went. One hard carbon sole with no liner. IT was fine, despite being a bit rough on my toes.

Not 5 minutes in did Kort pass me ...with a good pace and with a smile on her face. We wished each other luck and i tried to keep her in my sights. The first part was headwind city. We both struggled, me a bit more:) The course ran mostly East West but there were some shorter 2-3 miles that went North South so we were guaranteed some more headwind and short spurts of tailwind. At corners you had to use caution with the wind and drinking or Geling had to be calculated pretty precisely and done with speed since you were never quite sure if a gust of wind would come. I was super surprised that nobody had caught me and i started dreaming about coming off the bike 3rd. BAD JULIA. stay here. You are barely 13 miles in and Yup, here comes Jan! She was riding 303's and i was thinking "Hmm. maybe i should have ridden those."

But honestly I made up good time on her on the Cross wind stretches and on the hills ( of which there were few, darn it, I like hills) and lost her on the headwind sections. So i was really happy with the wheels despite some "whoa" moments. I did lose sight of Jan as we merged with the short course athletes about 5 miles from the finish. This is also where i saw Kort, standing by the side of the road looking like she had a mechanical or something. I slowed and asked if she was ok and she waved me on.

Later i learned she had an errant wind gust blow her as she was putting her bottle back into the cage and the bottle got loose and went into her spokes. Ugh. I was sick thinking about it, and had to get my head back in the game since i dont think that anyone wants to gain from someone else's misfortune. I knew I had to get myself back to the bike and keep chasing the gal in front or me and also knew that there were a few SPEEDY runners in hot pursuit.

The cutest thing of all on the bike course was the cheerleaders! Yes. We had cheerleaders from Osseo High! ( real cheers, like when they would see you 100 yards out they would get all set and as you passed they would do a cheer!) How great is that. All dressed in their outfits and pom poms and all. Thanks girls:)

Run: I got into T2 and got my shoes on belt on and gels and off i went. I Was nearly out and realized i had no visor. Dang. My Gear West Visor. I have no tri clothes from GW so i want to wear the visor and i left it. I kept on. I said it was hot but not that hot and i would be ok for 45 minutes! GO julia dont pause, go. I was so nervous i would forget my gel(s) i left the visor.

Lap 1 started up a hill. That is fine, bring me hills, especially late in the game. But i just ran. I was not sure how hard to run and i was not sure how fast i was running. I had nobody to chase other than random people so that is what i did. I also told myself to TAKE IT EASY on the 1st mile, I had worked on running HARD the 1st mile off the bike but in this case i just figured ( maybe i was wrong) that i wanted to build and settle in just in case i was being chased down. I always figure steady and on target and within my means is better than some herculian effort in miles 1-3 and then dying a slow march into the finish. There were water stops and all that but i really was not sure what the mile markers were. So when i did one loop ( we didnt go back into the park, we had to go around the park as the sprint was finishing) i knew i was close to 5k and then decided it was time to pick it up and keep moving forward. I never once looked back ( well until the last 100 yards) and i finally saw the gal in front of me. I have been here before. Where i just cant quite close the gap. The fans and cheering were great, the water stops had Blizzard cups which i found to be amusing ( and annoying, i mean really? will you serve me one at the finish? :) ha.

When i passed one guy heading into the last 1.5 miles he said "3rd to Jan" and that gave me hope that maybe i could catch her. There were some punchy hills ahead and i just got up those as quickly as i could and she was coming back to me. But seriously I just kept it in check and when we had climbed the last of the punchy hills she was there. We turned into the park on this 180- degree turn onto a bike path and we had about 300 yards to go. I got this sinking feeling as "what do I do?" I knew i could pass her but I didnt know if i could sprint that far ( actually I thought i could i think i just didnt want to) and she turned around and saw me and said "Good job" as soon as she saw me I took off like a bat out of you know what. I did not see her in my periphery as i went thru the chute and i didnt see her finish. I guess i felt sorta bad, but then again why? I was pleased with myself, It wasnt like i did anything unsportsmanlike and I had run a solid 10k or 6.6 miles or whatever the distance was. I guess I just think that if that happened to me i would feel sorta bad if i got passed at the end like that.

Here's how it went down: Here we go...

I also felt like i was gonna puke.

For the next 4 hours.

We hung around, my tennis friend Brenda was my private Maple Grove Ambassador, and we talked tennis and life and i gave her her first Gel. Oh what a reward for cheering for me:)

She was on fire, took me back to Transition, helped me with my things, took more pictures, got stung by a bee( she is allergic) and would not go get her EPI pen! I felt like a pro with my own Personal Assistant.

Oh and look how CALM the water is now. Um thanks wind!:)

She took more pics in T, even this one where Kort is about to go nurse ( um she had a baby like 10 weeks ago, WOW!) and i am nearly topless ( and pale) Im not sure what Diane was doing, but it was good to see her again after the Lakefront days race and she will be going to Bous with me in October.

Here are some podium pics, its too bad # 3 wasnt there but oh well. We got neat little dishes that say Maple Grove 2010. CY got $500 and i got a priceless podium pic with a great gal who i have a ton of respect for. Seriously.

But just to be clear I need to post this one:

Hee hee.

And this one was someone asking for my number from the crowd and i had to say " I am married!" Ok that is totally not what happened I have no idea who i was talking to:) But not Rich since he always says i dont look at his camera, but i wasnt sure where he was!

What a great event in its first year. I sure hope to be back again in 2011, sorta depends on that big elephant in the room that goes MOO. Oh that is an IM cow i guess.

That night we went to a neat outdoor fish place. We had to stand in line for an hour STAND. in hindsight it wasnt a good idea. But when we got our meals it was SO Worth the wait. Sunday was Rich's bday but sunday was also my 5yo nephew's bday so we were sharing the party ( and the cupcakes) with him so i wanted some special bday time with Rich saturday night. Plus I was hungry finally and we enjoyed an Ahi tuna burger, mussels and some seafood curry. Oh and a few Surly's. yum!

Ok this is getting too long but heck its all so interesting:)

Sunday we rode and I Was a SLUG. I felt bad for Rich he was so patientbut my legs actually hurt. I felt ok energy wise but my calves and quads ached. So we took it slow, it was still super windy but we had a nice ride anyways. We opened presents, lounged by the pool, got too much sun ( for me, even with sunscreen) and went to Edina for a party at my brother and sister in law's. ( yes the cupcake queen!!) she outdid herself with burgers, salmon, corn, fruit salad and cupcakes. So what to have what to have?

Yup both. Salmon and a burger. I rolled out of there and had to save my cupcake for later on.

Congrats to all that raced this weekend ( KONA BOUND JENL!!!), thanks to all that raced with me for being so fast that you make me go fast, and happy birthday to my honey!!! I love you:)

And we are off!

That is how it feels at least. We returned from a GREAT weekend up north. I mean Tony the Tiger GREAT!!! Weather was lovely and the company was even better. I was bad with the pictures...just too busy!

Never short on words, what i was going to say was that the Lake was 56-57 degrees or so, WARM for Lake Superior...so had i had a wetsuit on and one of those hats with ears. ANd the sun was out, And there was no wind. HA, Dont think you will catch me at St. George, but anyways...

Oh I did take these pics:

Ruby looking longingly at the river. Until she got in and had a panic attack bc the rocks were slippery and i had to lift her out. Poor girl. She JUST learned to swim this summer!

And modeling my mom's glasses. I may wear them in my next race.

We did do a race this weekend. WE. Rich did his first race! He did so well, I am so proud. And he even finished the entire run, and wanted to run again this weekend at the cabin. Whoa.

I asked if he would do another one. And despite saying "next year, maybe," i did catch him grabbing his goggles to go swim in the Lake and also talking like he really MAY do another.

I have a few more short races this summer, so we shall see.

And i have to post this picture. CY texted me that Kerry ( the fantastic eye behind the lens of Yndecam!) had a pic of me trying to put my helmet on backwards. Yup. I did. So for all of you readers ( or all 2 of you) that think i am the old pro, um..not. 2nd year racing. Yup I am a dork. So dont be embarrassed when you do this. Just PLEASE dont ride out of T1 with it on. I realized pretty darn quick that it was backwards but in my defense it was windy and so it USUALLY sits nicely on my aero bars, facing the correct way. I do have a bottle holder on my Aero Bars so it kept blowing off. Obviously i set it down and didnt really pay attn to the orientation of the helmet. Yup, Always something isnt it :) So Laugh at me. I continue to do so!

Here are a few more typical race photos...

Thanks Again to Kerry and his crew for the photos:)

So up next...road bike cleaning, Triple Bypass cramming, and more family fun. I am not doing a tri all of July. That is pretty weird.But Ok, lotsa bike stuff and even an OW swim race. Sans wetsuit.

Yippee for summer!

Gretta's First Time Trial

Last night Rich, Gretta and I went to our first TT of the summer. Weird.

Weird bc that used to be my total MO. I went to ALL The TT's, all the time. I loved them and they were all pretty much my A races. Enter in coach, and non stop TT's did not work into a schedule where i had to be running and swimming as well.

Plus the fact that MN had some really bad floading this spring so one of the TT's, the short flat fast one ( well fast if you can hammer on a flat windy road, um...well...not my strength!) was cancelled bc the road was in such disrepair. But...Tuesday Night TT, or TNTT, was going strong!

Below is the course: Which is cut off but its about 11++ miles of rollers in Horse country.

So we got there earlyish to warm up and to just beat traffic. The drive itself is a bugger at rush hour so after sitting in the car that long you kinda want a nap or you need to move. Normally I warmup ( as all serious bikers do) on my trainer. I emailed Jen earlier in the day..." JEN. I am a spazz. What should i do for a warm up?" and preceeded to write out an intricate warm up with attn to pedal stroke, cadence, HR, etc..all stuff i used to do. Her reply And if i had the sound effects it would be better:

"GEESH! Julia! ( Ha, I can see her rolling her eyes) 20-25 minutes on the course on your disc with 4 x 1 min TT efforts, 1 min off."

Ya know what? I was so much better warmed up this way bc i got to ride the rollers and it was so hot that the breeze helped cool me off. On the trainer you sweat like a pig. So Yeah I conquered a fear. Funny that my fear was not warming up on the trainer. Yup. I am becoming a less obsessed athlete. Good for me.

But seriously I used to get my undies in a bundle about these races! Tonight I was just going to do what i could, it was 90 out and humid, And i was in the mood to BRING IT ON, LOVE THE HEAT!!! So after we lined up, I was 8th in line and Rich was 7th, starting at 30 sec intervals I was sweating like you would not believe. Just stopped in the sun at 7:00pm it was so hot. I was going to do my best to chase down my honey and not lose him in my sights. ( How shallow am i that i want to beat my cancer survivor husband in his first race back??!!)

Rich took off and i started my watch ( Usually start it 3o sec out since in the standing /fixed start my hands are holding the bars..and i rolled up to the start hoping that i could clip in easily and the dude holding my bike would not drop me:) And 5-4-3-2-1 "you are off." As I always have i yell back THANK YOU! And start to roll up the hill chasing Rich. Yes we start up a gradual and long hill. ***It didnt used to be this way. We used to start at the other end and turn around at the bottom and finish where the current turn around is. This was a mental bummer since now when i roll into the turn around ( you see a lake) I still am conidtioned to think I AM DONE!!! OOPS. NOT.

So I was cruising so well. I was not blowing up on the hills and was confident on the downside to really push over the hills. There seemed to be a slight tail wind but i was not concerned i would face a wall of wind on the back. Soon dude #1 ( #9) passed me. Hart. Good rider. And at some point, right before the turn around I got passed by the Silver Fox. Note these guys are all in their late 50's, and really good riders. I mean super cool that they are so dang fast!

Anyways after the turn around i did start to feel a bit of wind and....A bit of fatigue. Each hill starts to feel like a mountain and by the time i was at Medina Road I was fully thinking that i wanted to rest at the top of each hill instead of cranking that gearing down and getting up speed on the descent. I did my best, but the time i make up going up hills is hardly matched by the fact that i just dont descend too fast. Even with my disc and with really pushing the hardest gear i can gravity is gravity. During the race i sure didnt think much other than how hard my breathing was, how hard this was, and WHEN WILL I BE DONE?? Oh and please I dont want a woman to catch me:) I knew Suzie was behind me 2 minutes, and i knew she has the ability to catch me, but i just wanted to finish alone. I have been caught on the final downhill stretch bc i am geared out and well...I just cant get going any faster as you go down that gradual hill but there is still about 400 yards of flat till you cross. So hello, unless you have a tail wind you just suck it up and ride like H-E- double hockey sticks.

As I finished i debated the pros and cons of gaining like 10 lbs to descend faster. Ok actually 5lbs, but realized that is still 5more lbs to bring up the hill with me running OR riding! So after 90 seconds of this thought, ok, maybe 45 seconds i decided to just love myself as i am :)

Anyways...Suzie did roll in right behind me with a fantastic time ( something like 24 mph average!) but thankfully saved my ego:) I finished with a 22.81 mph and 28:56 time and since my goal was to be under 30 I did it! I also was super proud that despite my NOT catching my super survivor hubby ( i think he was 28:12?) My Heart rates show i did all i could. 166bpm Avg and 174 max. That's Zone 4-5 baby, and that IS my max.

We hung around, cooled down with Suzie, and hopped in the car to drive home to swim in our pool! 9pm and we are in the backyard pool thankful that summer seemed to be here, if even for a day.

Congrats to the racers, and especially to my super hubby. Take that Cancer!

Gretta will have some more TT's we hope, hopefully another 12 miler before she has to do a 50 mile TT at the end of July! Happy 1st week of summer everyone!

When it rains, it pours

Seems there is alot going down around here. Literally.

We got Rich home yesterday afternoon and he is doing well. Happy to be home, not gaunt and underweight like last time ( despite wanting to get to his TDF climbing weight like last time) he is happy that he isnt a winner of this visit's MAYO BIGGEST LOSER.

My Mom, on the other hand, took a fall this morning at the YWCA. The superstar 80 yo was hustling to get to her elliptical for her alloted time slot and...boom. Down she went, tripping over the leg of the elliptical and taking an assault to her chin and her kneecap. I had just finished my swim and was headed to Nina's for coffee when she called me. Back i went and Troy ( super TRX Troy) had her taped up and iced. Good man.

Since i am a frequent flier at Summit Ortho I got her in and she saw an MD at 1oam ( about 90 minutes post fall) My dad and I coordinated the driving and as in the past, he was a trooper and got her where she needed to be. Sidenote: my dad is 82 yo and is about as agile as they come. He loves to show us all the "correct" way to balance on one leg, eyes closed, etc...then bend down and do some knee bends, then go out and cut down some tree's with his chainsaw.

Diagnosis: Fractured Patella. I emailed Kari to tell her " I win!" and she replied..."huh? what did you win? another patient?" and sadly I told my mom before her xray "bet ya fractured your patella." Sick PT mind i have i know.

Prognosis: Immobilized 6-8 weeks in a straight leg brace, no stairs ( um 4 story house) and a walker. I am pretty sure that the arthritis she has in her knee means there will be no pin and actually if it isnt cracked in two, just cracked, I guess a pin doesnt make sense. No need making her more uncomfortable.

But like most things my mom has a high pain tolerance. She said she feels more comfortable standing up than sitting down:) Any drugs mom? Nope.

Sigh....I told her that i would far prefer, as would she, to be running back and forth to the ortho doc's as opposed to the cardiologist, the oncologist, etc....

Hopefully she can get back in the pool sometime soon but i guess until that bone heals she is stuck in that dang immobilizer.

Chin up Mom, at least it's spring!! And Ruby will be at your side as will the rest of us. But Ruby will be GLUED to your side!!! And when i say glued, I MEAN IT! see below:)

The Board: Day 9

Not sure you can read this but we have had some fun with this....

The GET TO KNOW ME board. Last time we were here i wrote all over the medical board with indelible ink. You know the one that says the date, the RN's name, the PCA's name, what your diet is, what your activity level is. So i think this dry erase board is for me:)

The pickles and chips and salsa will be on hold for about 6 weeks, as we will hit the white food groups hard in the next month. No seeds, veggie skins, fruits etc..that could potentially get "caught" in the GI. Just think about all the good stuff you normally eat, and he cant eat that.

I will have to watch my Tapioca consumption, and lucky for me I dont care for mashed potatoes!

Best of all is that he is eating soft foods, and he refused the Heparin today. Those shots are as bad as they sound, the bruising on his triceps is pretty bad and even Arnica hasnt helped. If the MD gives the go ahead we are headed home thursday. The incision is a bit inflamed and they are watching it to be sure they dont have to drain it. Fingers crossed again.

Have a super day everyone.

PS Oh and I had a GREAT tempo run today! My blister/callus that i somehow ignored in Tucson is hurting on my big toe and even with Moleskin it seems to just not go away...bum.

ME

My mind has been in a thousand places this past week. Bouncing around from Rich to work, to Rich, to training, to Rich, to work, to family support and my awesome friends, to Rich, to Mayo, to...you get the idea. When i was running today I finally said to myself...ME. ME. ME. ME.

With a recent post by girl pal Mary on motherhood and all that it entails I realized i wanted to write about ME. Not about Mayo, not about Day 6 or whatever day it is, not about NG tubes, hydration and not about Cancer. This was hard for me to realize. Last time I was down here with Rich we were uncertain about his prognosis. To date we know he is cancer free. That makes all this "complications" from surgery seem ok. Last time we were here we had the wedding on the horizon, would we get married? would he be ok? would he have the energy? And I was also DONE for the season with my racing and the training was sorta to keep me sane. It was the start of winter hibernation.

When I planned my race calender for 2010 we were to have had this current surgery DONE! It was planned for January 2010, but our surgeon suggested waiting another 3 mos, and if the surgeon wants to wait, by all means, we were for it. Little did i know that this would bring the surgery to about 2-3 weeks pre my first big race of the season. Lonestar 70.3, or Memorial Hermann 70.3, or whatever IM is calling it. I just know i signed up bc my sister lives in Houston and I thought it would be fun to have girls weekend in Galveston. I had no plans to be training thru my hubby's Mayo stay. Luckily we had a great build at JH camp and the after camp in Green Valley. I think i got some good volume in and despite it being concentrated I think it helped. I hope. At least i got to ride and run in temps over 30 degrees. Lol.

As i ran today ( and felt like my legs were back after the Tucson trip! yea!) I realized I have done NO speed work. I have raced once. a 10 miler which was a good race for me for March. I have been on my Tri bike 1x outside. I rode her yesterday for 2 hours. It was not a workout it was just an endurance ride. And i realized that 56 miles is gonna be hard. Yes we rode alot in Tucson. Alot of it involved climbs which means you get some free miles descending. Lonestar is flat flat flat. For me this means hard hard hard. I also realized its salt water. Oh boy. I guess i swam in St John's and didnt have a problem but i have to keep my mouth shut!

Anyways I wont dwell on all the "Oh crap" moments i have had this past week. Because at the end of the day I am so excited to get out and race and throw all expectations out the window. I really mean that. I HAD some time goals, and really now i just know that my competitive juices will flow when it counts, and if I am not feeling it I will pace as i need to in order to cross that line with my head high and my shoulders back. ( ie not hunched over like a little old lady!)

So this is the ME post I wanted. I wanted to write about me, and how this Cancer thing and how being at Mayo has made me feel. I am just hitting the surface of it really, but the guilt i feel leaving him here is huge, as i drive home every night and get up and drive down in the AM. I also know that after that first night ( where i was miserable! on the couch! ME again, remember this is about me, its my blog) I could not have left him. No way. And this is THE MAYO clinic.

I think you have to experience this place ( now dont go out of your way to get here) to understand how EXCELLENT the service is and how passionate and caring the RN's, to the MD's to the transport service to EVERY frickin person here is compassionate. I am not kidding. The people that take the parking tickets are professional and courteous. Really.

If i cant be confident leaving him here overnight I am nuts. Plus THEY get ALOT done at night. It is pretty weird/curious that when rest is so important to healing that they are in here every 2 hours doing stuff. Blood draws are at midnight, and there are other things that all require you to spell your name, state your date of birth, etc...all for positive ID before the shoot you up with Heparin or do whatever. Rich had an Ambien last night to sleep. Um, yeah right.

But still its hard to leave him here alone. Thank god the Master's is on :)

So i get up and try to get a workout in. Then i eat something and shower. The bad thing about not swimming as much this past week is there are no built in showers:) And riding early has still been chilly, so I have been on the trainer. But its all good since it makes my exit from the house faster. Then i throw more food into a bag, and grab more things to bring down to Mayo, and start driving. Now I am a bike racer. I like to drive fast. And up until friday I was safely and cautiously driving a speed that got me to Mayo in about 75 minutes. Lets just say that friday I cut my drive a bit too close to get to a 4:30pm appt in st paul. I got off the freeway and was right on time to get to my appt ( for a massage, selfish i know...but they give massages at mayo you know, so i wanted one too!) and as i was heading down a local street about 1 mile from the massage therapist I saw it.

That suspect car with the lights inside the car and too many antennae. I dropped speed FAST. But who knows where his little camera was sitting but I went by him and about 10 feet later i was pulled over. Nice. I have NEVER been pulled over EVER. I had alot going thru my head.

To make a long story short I was honest and told him i was coming back from Mayo and I knew i was speeding. I was going 44 in a 30. oops. He warned me and if we had had the updated insurance card in the glove compartment i would have been scott free. oops, again. I called Rich and he said "oh sorry." All is fine I just had to send in a copy of the card and i should be good to go.

Officer Friendly was SOOOO nice. I felt really lucky, he wanted to know how Rich was, wanted to know if i was ok, wanted to know more about our wedding, etc...and then wrote on the ticket "Very polite and courteous." I didnt cry and I didnt flirt. I just told him like it was. And I got lucky. And trust me I have slowed down. I know that driving fast isnt the answer, and trust me I was tempted to say " I race bikes and i had the perfect line coming into that corner." But i didnt. But crap. I mean really Julia. Dont be in such a frenzied rush as next time there could be a bike or a kid in the street. And if the Chief of the St Paul Police Dept was still Chief John Harrington ( he isnt anymore, he retired) I could have pulled the Dartmouth Card. Yup. Chief H is a Dartmouth grad:)

Thanks for reading about ME today. I will update more on FB about Rich:) Happy weekend everyone.

TGIF

Is it really friday? Wow time flies.

So I was swimming this morning and thinking about all the things I am grateful for:

Rich..I would spend three pages on this so just say RICH.

My wonderful supportive friends and family

Rich's family, soon to be MY family too..legally I mean...so wonderful and supportive as well.

My blogger friends, some of you may think i am stalking you and i dont even know you but I have a bit more time on my hands lately to read all your fun and crazy stories! If I comment about how wimpy you are when it is 45 degrees, dont take it seriously. I just have lost my filter this last week:)

My parents especially who I feel have been so lucky to be in good health for so long. Mom, you had that little run in with Cancer a few years ago but at the ripe age of 77yo you beat that bad boy and are now running strong. Dad, you still amaze me and i think you should still sign up for a 5k and beat all the 50 yo's and win your 80-85 AG. You could SO go to Kona!

My co-workers. I work for a wonderful Non-Profit and my co-workers have just been so wonderful and supportive. I dont go to one site and i pretty much multi-task with different sites and management employees. It is a great job and i appreciate the flexbility it allows me, but i sometimes wonder if i really have a home base since i office from home. I sure found out that I do have a CORE support with my work even if i dont see them from 9-5 everyday.

The staff at Mayo..we call the MD's the three amigos, or the SUITS. This is a teaching hospital so with the lead Surgeon we get the chief resident and the 1st year resident AND the PA. They come in "the suits" and I spend most my time trying to break them and make them laugh. I did try this pre-surgery when i cracked a Steve Carrel 40 YO virgin joke about me waxing Rich's belly. And nobody smiled. But me. Ok save those for POST surgery. Now I have cracked all of them at least once. Gotta have some fun ya know. Everyone here is top notch. I mean that. Nobody wants to be here and from the lead Surgeon to the volunteers that come around to give you hand massages ( yes I am serious) this place is the best. Hands down I would come back here if i had to.

Starbucks versus Caribou. Granted I have cut back and i dont drink alot of coffee to begin with but I have had a direct back to back challenge going on with these two, each is within 1/2 block of the hospital. Now you may have your favorites but to be frank, I would not pick either one of them. Yup I am spoiled by my NINA's coffee and the local indy shops I support.

But that being said I only drink espresso and i dont do the foofy drinks. So head to head on the capps..both places seem to think that a dry capp means "oh just dont fill it up as high"

NO this should mean you actually have to make foam. And this means that you actually have to HOLD the pitcher and not just WEDGE itunder the foam head and let it scald and make a high pitched scream. I did cave and order a pumpkin pie latte the other day when i was feeling a bit like I wanted to shop :) ( hahaha, i dont like to shop) and it was good till i got to the place where the sweetener had settled. BLECK. then it tasted like melted candy corn with HFCS mixed in. I am going back to the Jasmine Tea for now, and then back to my tried and true espresso or cold press from my indy shops at home.

Ok that was a coffee rant, wasnt it. But i guess I am thankful for them, in a sick sorta way:)

Thankful for... continues now:

Sun, it came out today.

Jen, for giving me workouts to help make me feel normal and reminding me that i met all my goals this summer so i need to get my head in THIS game..Rich's game and take care of myself too.

My own bed. The cot in this room was awful.

KO, for the swimsuit and the ongoing support.

My own health. I would be lying if i didnt say that this has been hard. I think you kinda buck up and get thru it and rely on the IAMSTRONG...motto but at some point i think i have had a few little pressure releasing quakes and hope that there isnt THE BIG ONE...waiting to come. ( ok seismic jokes may not be funny to those of you living on a fault line...New Madrid is next to go, so San Andreas can relax)

And I am getting too longwinded so time to sign off.

Rich is having a rough day and we hope that once he is past the 72 hour mark things will be better. ( FYI..inflammation peaks at 72 hours so if you crash your bike or have some sort of acute injury..just know day3 isnt gonna be good, but after that you will be better) He is back on NPO ( no food by mouth) and we have to get him rehydrated bc his insides are kicking out too much fluid. He is walking fine, not resting much bc of all the pokes, but I keep telling him how lucky we are that we came here for a 2nd opinion. Thank GOD!

Thanks for reading my hodge podge and for all you folks that are not wanting to ride outside when it is 45, buck up and get out there for a bit...then finish it off inside...:)

Grateful.... and Irongirl Du Race Report

So how do I say thanks? I guess by saying THANKS:) One does wonder at times when you write out a blog post like my last one and then hit PUBLISH POST, if it is the right thing to do. It isnt easy to ask for support or to even share intense or "downer" news. It is tough especially when i usually am a pretty upbeat happy person. Yet there have been times in the past that i wish I had been able to share and ask for support. So I am glad I did, and you people ROCK. I mean it is weird how I dont know many of you ( I mean I do consider blogland to be a nice reality even if Rich wonders at times if I am living my life so i can blog about it...Hell ya, why not??!) ha ha ha.
You are all a part of my TEAM COURAGE. And Today at the race I raced for me being as survivor and for Rich who will BE a Survivor and for all of you who at one time or another will need support.

But seriously it has made me feel so good and so much better about the challenge we are facing.
Thanks for all your support and movie ideas. I think Rich and I both think we may have to stay home much longer than his recovery time to now watch all the good picks we have.
But oh that is right, we live in Minnesnowta, Mother nature may take care of that for us.

So...lets do this, lets just post some pics and I will give you a bit of a race report from today.
Best part of today, seriously, other than getting 2nd OA to the smashingly fast and fabulous Jules Hull...? what can be better than that? Well not crashing my bike for one. But what was best about today was that for a good portion of this race I DID NOT THINK ABOUT the C word.
I did think about it while riding bc I said "I havent thought about Cancer once. this is great!" Then i decided i needed to knock that out of me and ride harder. Negative split that 2 lap bad boy and just hurt. I am happy to say that I did just that. I felt like i was going to hurl on the bike.
Yup. Jen is smiling. Ride harder and you forget all that has brought you down the week or two before.
Below was how I was feeling last week: Yup it was windy. Poor Duck.

Luckily we were able to get to the Duck before the Wind did:
Here is the end of the 1st run. I ran FAST. OMG. It was 2 miles and I ran 6:07's. That is fast for me. Some other gal was right next to me and she wasnt passing me ( then again I was number 820, um that means a long day of passing and trying to stay safe....) so i just kept running...

Wait who is this? I ran it twice? :) No thanks. My sister was in the wave behind me and she was kicking butt sporting the VERVE kit. WOOHOO!

So back to me :) So I get into T1 knowing lady next to me is right there. I get in there and get out ( she is racked with me....dang it. oh yea we are in the same wave and same number group, duy she is racked near you) So i get in and out of there ASAP. Helmet buckle still annoys me but off i go. Feet on shoes and in the shoes bc there is an uphill right after you get out of T1. And then there was a nice hill. I kept thinking she was right behind me, so i just said "race your race not her's" I guess I was fast enough bc Rich took this picture of me:

And I went by too fast. Love it.
There were 2 laps of about 10 miles each. ( Last minute they had to move the bike due to Minnesota's lovely construction season aka summer, that didnt get finished on time) The first lap went something like this : "OH YOUR LEFT....ON your LEFT. ....ON YOUR LEFT...." ok you get the idea. At the same time I had to say thanks when i could and try to encourage the racers, some of whom were there for their first race. I did at one point almost crash into a cone when the riding 4-5 abreast got to me and sadly I did say a bad word, but after that I just tried to settle in and do the work.

Coming into the turn to start the 2nd lap. Cornering Aero is something I think I am pretty good at so i did it as best i could, but the whole concept of "HOLD YOUR LINE," was tough today. Just stayed upright and since there was no sight of "Lady running next to me" from run 1 I was just riding hard. I rode so hard i felt like i was going to hurl. I dont usually feel that way unless I am doing a TT. So i think today TT and Tri met and they duked it out.
So into T2 I went, threw that bike on the rack and out i went. I Didnt feel so hot leg-wise.

but I guess I am smiling and have enough energy to throw my arm warmers at Rich:) I ran fast, not as fast as the 1st run but still 6:33's and finished strong. I mean on a 2 mile run the first mile is super awkward and then the 2nd mile you just go harder. I wish it were a 5k bc then you could actually get into some stride, but still happy to be done. I have a few pics of the finish but it is hard to see so I am sure that the ASI folks will be sending me some deeply discounted pics of my finish. I love those but they can get spendy. First person i see across the line is this fine lad: Sorry honey your eyes are closed, but I think this is a good pic anyways.

MORE COWBELL!

We waited for my sister to finish..and Rich snapped this sister hug picture. That is nice. I like this one.


Obviously I am feeling better now and have something to say . Or something(s) to say.
We then bump into Mrs. IronGirl Judy Molner who tells me I got 2nd OA! I said "SERIOUSLY??" And what a nice surprise that was. Yea I know that "EVERYONE" is at Du Worlds ( Yea Kari, Yea Renee) but Jules and Jules were in Bloomington MN today and we did great! We may even try to run together at the TCM 10 miler...that would be fun. At least she wont be on a bike so maybe i can keep her in sight:) hee hee.

And to display that what my 1st grade teachers told my parents was true ( that I dont have a hearing problem I just dont like to pay attention sometimes) here is a picture of me looking at Rich's camera. Yes he did tell me about 15 seconds BEFORE I got on the stage to "LOOK AT ME." Sure honey. whatever you say.
Ok then gotta get ready for a Wedding party tonight. We are calling it a Press Conference actually. About 30 of our good friends and family members are gathering for a pre-wedding party. We decided we needed a party and we need to get together and laugh and celebrate all that we have as we head into our next challenge. Hope you all had a great weekend:)

The CRAZIIIINESSSSSS of Life.....

Title: SCREAM!!!!
Title: Speechless
Title: You have to be kidding me?
Title: We have no real power or control over anything in our lives...really....
Title: CANCER SUCKS

I have to say that I have no idea how to title this blog post. But the important thing is that i have wanted to post something for about a week and finally feel ready to do so. A shout out to friends and family and friends i havent even met for you support to this point and I will rely on you more and more each day.

Last week My lovely honey was diagnosed with Colo-Rectal Cancer. I will spare you the details but it was a routine colonoscopy ( PSA, if you are 50 yo get it, dont wait) and he was asymptomatic. My first thought was "so what, you remove a polyp and it is fine. I mean didnt Ronald Reagan have a polyp. or five?" He died of Alzheimers not cancer. ( i think??) but funny what pops into your head. We have a wonderful GI doc that called Rich to tell him the news not 24 hours later and from there the rubber side was no longer on the road. Or the spot of bother became more than a nuisance. I could write a book on the tumor and what they found and the onslaught of diagnostics that he has now been thru, but the take home message really is this:
We are so lucky that from the CT/MRI/Ultrasound there is no metastses. On the cellular level we dont know...we still have yet to meet with an Oncologist. I keep saying that the glass half empty is the aggressive surgery we are 99% likely to have, the glass half full is that this surgery allows for the MOST LIKELY CHANCE that the cancer will not recur. I mean is there no right answer??

In all of this I have struggled with feelings of shock: NO WAY. To denial : Ok dont have surgery the friday before my race, ok? To even telling him: "you know i would not race. that would be ok." to which my loving fiance said "you are kidding arent you?" to which I honestly had to say " HOLY COW, I mean I am still not believing this!!!"

1) The races i have left are FOLLY. I mean really. I feel like i shouldnt do them. But at the next breathe i feel that I should. I can. He wants to watch. He can watch. He feels fine. I am healthy. I can. So i will.

2)Even if they are FOLLY, I need to try to keep some semblance of my normal life. For some a normal life may not be training twice a day. And for some a normal life may not be emailing their coach to talk and ask for support and emailing freinds to go jump in a cold lake in late September. But for me, while we are in this limbo, that is normal. And we may even jump in a colder lake in October. Who knows. When the MD appts call and when he calls I am there, but when I have the time and the presence of mind i have to keep my life as normal as possible. Whatever normal is:)

3) We have no control over anything really. Stay in the moment and enjoy it.

4) One surgeon we talked to replied to a question I had as such "When you have had cancer, you still live in fear of cancer even if it is cured" thanks. And yea I have been looking over and over again at my melanoma site and looking hard at my skin to make sure i dont have anything suspicious. But as some of you may know once your body "knows" for lack of a better term "HOW TO MUCK UP CELLS AND GO HAYWIRE" it could do it again. So i have had to be strong and not get all wrapped up in my own fears of my own cancer coming back. or my mom's. or my co-workers, or...

5)Why do bad things happen to such good people? I mean to a man that if you havent met him is the one that works so hard to take care of people with serious oral /dental issues, that operates on children with Cleft Palate, that volunteers at his church, that is always giving of his time and his presence to his family and friends and of course the most unselfish fiance and friend a girl could ask for. I mean really? And then we return to the shock->disbelief-> denial stages.
And we try not to ask WHY, no risk factors...the surgeon was smiling..." I love seeing a trim person. makes surgery so much easier" which makes you think he doesnt see them too often in cases of colo-rectal cancer. I dont know....my blog i can be judgemental if i want.

6) Our future as ONE is still just that. But the wedding ceremony will be postponed. We are deeply saddened but obviously we have to focus on his health. Hope is there that we can still figure something out and thanks ( even tho they dont read the blog) to those folks that have gracefully refunded the ooodles of downpayments we have made to date. To the others I have not heard from or that say "you signed a contract" I say.___________. Yes. I did. Life is good. I wont worry. It is money. It is just money and you get no more of my energy.

And as I ramble on and on I do ask you this:

Tell me funny movies to watch...we are already planning to watch the BIG LEBOWSKI over and over again. Not sure we can do the White Russians or not...Other ones we like Curb your enthusiasm series, The Office series, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Best of Show....send others!!! WE need some laughter!!!!

Oh and in the mean time I intend to just keep watching the FED hit the most amazing shot EVER and the look on Novak's face. Roger is pure joy!! hitting a CLEAN WINNER...man...that is such a sweet feeling...scroll down and watch it with me!

Thanks for reading and thanks for lifting us up in prayer or whatever your higher power is. We need the energy!